Apparently, I’m not on Earth anymore, so I guess I should start with ‘Day 1’ again. It’s only been a few hours since I arrived here, but holy crap is it hot! It’s so dry too… I’ve already finished off my giant pitcher of iced tea and I’m starting to panic a little bit.
Inari Okami, Oinari-sama, are you there? Is there some sort of passphrase that I need to type out or say aloud? I’ve tried “/help”, “HELP”, “Inari Okami”, “Oinari”, and just about everything else that I could think of but… Well, on the positive side, at least I never need to worry about running out of power. I’m more afraid of the small solar-panel overheating and breaking.
Okay, this isn’t funny anymore. It never really was, but I wish I had packed more water. I’ve been trying to ration… Yeah, who am I kidding? Even if I drag it out for ten or fifteen more hours, there’s no way that I’m going to be able to survive in this kind of situation.
“Remember your roots, young Kitsune. The three most basic needs are water, food and shelter. Gaze up into the sky, what do you see? Where there are clouds, there is usually water. If water exists, then there will almost always be life. I wouldn’t choose this place as your first test if it wasn’t possible for you to survive here. There are plenty of plants and animals on this planet, even now. If there weren’t, then the Kitsune Drive would have chosen a different world. Regardless, you must first create a shelter. How does the fennec avoid the harsh desert sun?”
Great, so I need to dig my own grave before I die! Do I even have a shovel? Wait a minute, I actually do! Ah, this is one of my mother’s camping backpacks… It’s jet-black and made out of a pretty sturdy material. More importantly, there’s a small combat shovel, a pretty big hunting knife, a compass, an LED flashlight, a stainless-steel water container and umm, there’s a firesteel too. It’s basically small a artificial flint rod, which you can use to make a fire… Not that I would need something like that in this situation.
Well, wish me luck, ‘cause I’m sweating to death and I need to dig a ‘burrow’ big enough to fit my giant body. I guess that’s probably why fennecs are so tiny, huh? They also need less food and water to survive… Plus their ears release lots of excess body heat. I’ll stop procrastinating now.
“I’m still alive… Ugh, too tired to type, so I’m just gonna record for a bit. I picked a spot a few meters to the ‘north’ of that tiny Inari figurine. The compass works by the way… At least I think it does. Ow~, my arms and shoulders are so sore. It wouldn’t have been nearly as much work if I had a normal-sized shovel, but I guess this little one was still better than using my hands. You have no idea how thankful I am that I grabbed my Mom’s backpack instead of my Dad’s. There is a tiny~ problem though… No, this is too embarrassing to say out loud.”
I didn’t bring any tissues, toilet paper, sanitary wipes, alcohol, peroxide, or well, any of the normal stuff that you would just have lying around your house on a daily basis. Especially toilet paper… I used some napkins that I brought along for the picnic, but now I’m totally out and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
In case you were wondering, yes, I dug a latrine on the very southernmost part of the dirt. Why didn’t I go to the bathroom on the giant yellow sand dunes that surround my ‘property’? Aside from the fact that I’m terrified of going out there, well, fertilizer I guess?
“Inari’s Garden” is a farming game and if this situation is anything even remotely related to agriculture, then I need to keep my soil healthy if I want to plant crops. Not quite sure what kind of ‘crops’ I’ll be able to grow in this kind of environment though. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the two suns in the sky, I would have thought that I was in the Sahara Desert.
Anyway, I did manage to create a burrow of sorts. I’m just worried that I’ll move the wrong way and I’ll be buried under two feet of dirt. Also, I feel absolutely disgusting right now. I want a shower, or a bath… What more do you want from me Inari?
No, I’m too tired to beg for more ‘guidance’. I’m going to go to sleep and pray that I wake up from this nightmare tomorrow.