SDC V1, Chapter 16: OCD vs Laziness

As my OCD progressed, I became less lazy in a lot of ways. For example, once we finally got a new dishwasher, I didn’t want my parents to do it anymore. I was still way too lazy to do the washing part of dealing with clothes, but I always took my own clothes out of the dryer. Aside from wanting to help out my parents, I also didn’t want them to touch stuff I would need to wear or eat out of… Obviously I would still wash off dishes and utensils before I used them, since you never know whether there will still be soap or other stuff on them.

Such a mundane task was pretty mind numbingly boring. Usually I’d be thinking about stories I was working on or things I needed to do in various games. However, since I was already playing a game downstairs, time passed by really quickly.

Before I realized it, the match was over, with me getting the ‘Most Kills’ award, while I was also done pissing. Normally I would get bored after a single match, plus I would need to piss again if it was slightly longer than usual. However, I guess with two bodies, I was able to become interested in things for a longer period of time.

As Michael sat down, he started to pick a Tanky Paragon named Tharzgard the Barbarian. Who was a big beefy elf-dude who used two big swords, axes or whatever that particular skin had on it. They required more concentration and effort to play properly, but I was feeling adventurous. I wanted to test my limits to an extent.

Ana required a lot more effort in order to piss properly as well. Thus, I tried to focus on both of them at the same time. Well, it turned out that I didn’t really need to think so hard about it. In the game, you weren’t constantly in dangerous situations. I just soloed a lane at the bottom of the map alone, and it was against medium difficulty AI. While Ana only really had to concentrate once she made it up to the top floor, went into the bathroom.

I closed the door, washed my hands off thoroughly in the sink, then went over to the bathtub again. This time I was trying a different method. Where I put my leg up and somewhat squatted. I reached behind me with my left hand and pulled the back of my boxers downward, then I reached down with my right and pulled that part around front… Up to my waist. Then I realized that squatting or putting my leg up would be disastrous, so I just stood up straight and tried to open my pussy up with my left hand.

It didn’t really work out that well, so I had to hold the waistband back with my thumbs and then spread myself open with both my index fingers simultaneously. With my urethra aimed straight down towards the drain, I let loose and… I didn’t piss on my legs or underwear! My fingers got soaked, but whatever, I just washed them off with soap anyway.

Twelve seconds, the time it took for Barbaric Thrust to come off cooldown. That’s how long the actual pissing part took. Everything else though, was a bit more time consuming.

Even though I got ganked and murdered by a group of tiny fairies in the forest as Michael, I still had a huge sense of satisfaction as Ana. It was only noon, but I already learned how to piss on my own with a vagina!

That might not sound very impressive, and sure, it really wasn’t. But the fact that I could even function at all, given the circumstances, was definitely a positive thing. Things were looking up. I was happy and excited as I washed off my pussy to make sure that it was relatively clean. I didn’t use soap, because I figured it might have caused problems if I did that too often.

When I came downstairs and sat down on the metal chair, my two bodies took turns playing the game and drinking iced tea in peace. With both of my focused on the game, I decided to try something I swore I would never do again: Impossible Difficulty AI. It was called that for a reason. A lot of stupid people scoffed at it and considered it to be ‘easy’, just because they were AI. The truth was though, that it was almost impossible to win, even if you had a decent team and group composition. The easiest was the single-lane, twos, also known as doubles. Where two players would face two AI. However, the problem was that the AI not only had perfect coordination and teamwork, they also had the best Paragons to counter your team, along with starting at level ten instead of one. They were bots too, so they could easily predict your movements and hit you with perfectly timed skillshots and combos.

Ironically, while Impossible Difficulty was almost unbeatable, you still got the same amount of experience as Newbie Difficulty, assuming you ended the game with the same overall level. The reason why people thought the harder ones gave better rewards was that they simply took longer to beat, and you usually ended up at a higher level by the end, even if you lost.

My favorite character, Skalia the Gravelord, was the one I picked. She was an Elf-Giant who could choose to use a giant sword and be a melee damage-dealer, pick the shield and hammer to become a Tank or pick up a bow and be a ranged nightmare. I usually became an archer, since she had a bunch of really overpowered skillshots and crowd-control abilities. With two brains, I figured that I would be amazing. Well, I was kinda right.

“Motherfucking cuntsucker! God damn it!”

Unsurprisingly, while I was way better than usual, my teammate picked Maggie the Snail. Who was literally the worst Paragon in the game. They basically either hid under their shell until the enemies murdered them, or they would get insta-killed by a double-skillshot combo while slowly inching around the map. Don’t get me wrong, she had her uses. By simply moving over most enemy units, she would instantly kill them and get a stacking health increase buff… But once she died and lost that, then she was totally useless.

As I was cursing and complaining, I suddenly had a flash-back. It was kinda like deja vu, but well, not about what I was doing at that moment.

***

“What the fuck? Ugh… My head…” I was back in that operating room, or at least that’s what it looked like.

After I spoke, a female voice to my left murmured “Intriguing… Perhaps Experiment-77 might be of some use…”

“What are your orders Doctor?” That robotic masculine voice spoke again. By the way, when I say I ‘remembered’ this, it happened at pretty much an instant. I didn’t fall into a trance or some shit.

“-might be sterile…” She said something about sterility, then maybe “But we can still test… Functions… Send an Observer, let ‘nature’ take its course.”

Then I lost consciousness, probably. That was the last I remember of that shit either way. The moral of the story was that I maybe, possibly was sterile, and there was almost definitely someone or something ‘watching’ me at that moment.

***

As I looked over to my right, with both bodies at the same time, I saw a dark abyss. There were tons of boxes and junk on the left side, while some light was slipping down from the cracked open door at the top of the stairs. However, the back of the basement, was almost creepy as fuck.

“Anybody there?” I asked, using both voices at the same time. Obviously there was no answer. Still, I was really creeped out. I gave whatever might have been beyond that arch, a good ole fashioned middle finger with Michael’s right hand. Then reached out and grabbed, as if I was going to catch something.

“I’m so fucking weird…” Ana grumbled, as she suddenly leaned over and grabbed hold of me. Yep, I was hugging myself. Not really for comfort, but because it was fucking freezing and rubbing one body with another, was much warmer than that shitty space heater. By the way, that thing was still running, but somehow, it felt like I was getting colder.

It was a little awkward doing that while we were both sitting down, so we got up and started hugging normally. Honestly, it was nice. Humans have this weird sense of instinctual desire for physical contact. Even though both of my bodies were controlled by the same weird hivemind-type thing, also known as ‘Me’, I still felt the desire for my bodies to press against each other.

I hadn’t hugged someone in years. It was kinda sad really. Anyway, it was also interesting because both bodies were the same exact height. I had never felt that sensation of being perfectly aligned with another person before.

For example, both of my chins rested on my right shoulders. I wrapped my arms around my waists, pressed my groins together and yep, I was already horny again. With the space heater blowing hot air at all four of my feet from an angle, I grabbed both my asses at the same time and realized something: They were both relatively big.

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