I resisted the urge to try kissing myself, since it was pointless, and left the bathroom. Although I could go into great detail about how I walked on the balls of my feet, only touched things with specific hands and explain every little weird thing I did on the way out… I don’t have that kind of time. Besides, it’s pretty redundant at this point.

“Leave the light on!” Of course, before I could even get to the stairs, my mother was already yelling at me from her bedroom. The door was half-way closed, so I couldn’t actually see her, but that didn’t really matter.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I noticed my father was sleeping on the couch, but the other way around. Just thinking about how his head was on a yellow pillow that his feet had previously been laying on… Ugh, basically one of my biggest nightmares was to wake up in that situation.

Anyway, it freaked me out enough to completely turn both my bodies off. At least temporarily. We went into the kitchen, before thoroughly washing off our hands with soap. Then we went down into the abyss, closing the door behind us.

The top floor bathroom was about seventy degrees, while the kitchen was almost eighty… But the temperature dropped by at least twenty or thirty degrees when we went down into the icy hell that was my room. I mean, for fuck’s sake, it was only forty degrees outside, so the basement was almost as cold as being out there. Of course, that’s not accounting for the wind temperatures and cold breezes.

Still, both my bodies were shivering a bit as they dried off. Then they both put their towels down, walked over to pick out clothes, before drying their feet off and putting on the boxers. Both the ones I picked out were black, though the one Michael wore had a looser waistband and were a bit longer. Ana’s boxers had a broken button, but it ain’t like her pussy could accidentally flop out of there, so it was fine. Our shirts were almost identical, made of a thick material and reached halfway down my thighs.

As I sat down on the metal chair, I reached down to the left of my computer desk and turned on the tiny space heater. Both my bodies were still pretty wet, so even if the damn heater made the skin on my dick-head peel off occasionally, it was still better than getting sick. Honestly, rather than the miniscule amount of heat it produced, I just enjoyed the sound of the fan. It was kind of like a white-noise machine.

Even sitting on the cold and uncomfortable metal chair wasn’t so bad, since the sound relaxed my mind. Then again, it helped that I could also experience what Ana felt, as she sat there on the office chair… Actually, even that chair was a piece of shit and felt like it would fall apart at any moment.

In my new female body, I didn’t need to worry about crushing my balls if I sat the wrong way. Regardless, it wasn’t all puppies and rainbows having a vagina. I had a little blue stool under my desk, which had a thick white towel covering it. Both my feet were pressed together, and my thighs were annoyingly hitting the armrests. While my posture was unnecessarily straight, so my clit was rubbing against the lumpy front of the chair. It was one of the last bits of ‘cushion’ left in the poor old thing, so it kinda felt good… But I eventually had to lean back a bit, using the chair as it was intended.

“Fuckin Hell… I can’t believe I’m getting wet and hard already…”

It was like my sex-drive was multiplied. Okay, that’s a lie. It’s not that I was any hornier than usual, but that I usually distract myself with other things. For example, the many video games that I really shouldn’t have been playing so much. I still needed to complete a few dailies and do the weekly raids on the MMORPG, which was my most pressing issue. Then I also had to do some daily quests in the MOBA I was vaguely addicted to… Aside from that, there were a few games I bought on sale and just never really got around to playing.

Then there were the dozens of stories I was following recently. Just translated webnovels, but they were free and that’s what I usually spent my non-writing time doing.

“I’ll just cum really fast and move on with my life…” Both my bodies grumbled at the same time. If I didn’t control them individually, it was hard for me to only speak from one mouth.

Well, it had only been a few hours, so it was stranger that I was able to adapt so quickly. There are plenty of things I could have done, but I was a lazy bastard. I just jerked off and fingered myself, while watching some CGI porn of an alien insect creature, getting fucked in the ass by an elf futanari. In case you’re a normal person and don’t know what any of that means, congratulations, welcome to the internet.

Anyway, there were several ways to ejaculate without making a mess. One was to directly cum into a small trash-bin. That’s what I did for a long time, but eventually I moved on to the tissue method. Where I would either wrap a tissue around my dickhead at that last moment, or just kinda hold the tissue up and jizz ‘onto’ it. Both techniques have their pros and cons, but since I was sitting on the metal chair, I chose the tissue-condom procedure.

Rubbing my clit and fingering myself was a bit more complicated. Fortunately I wasn’t a ‘squirter’ or essentially, an uncontrolled urinator. The abdominal convulsions and the additional vaginal secretions were the extent of my orgasm.

“Hmmm, I should get some sex toys.” I murmured, while wiping off my vagina and asshole. Even though I was basically a pocket-pussy expert, I didn’t know that much about dildoes and vibrators.

The first thing I did was go to a particular site I remembered, because… Reasons. But all the cheapest dragon and/or alien dildo was like a hundred dollars. Some of them were hundreds. I didn’t need something that fancy, so I went to the generic online store that sold basically everything: Rainforest. No fucking clue why they’d name their company that, but whatever.

On there, the cheapest dildo was about five dollars, and for vibrators, there were a lot of different types: Bullets, the twirly ones with the little arm that rubs your clit, buttplugs that vibrate and just your typical dick shaped ones. There were even those fancy things that they always use in Japanese porn videos… Magic wands? Probably called that because they kinda look like wands to an extent.

There was a two-in-one butt-plug and dildo-vibrator. The shiny blue toy was a bit too much though. Not because of the color, but I just didn’t want to ‘have’ to fuck my ass and pussy at the same time. I prefer having options. That thing was twenty-five dollars, for future reference.

For fifteen-fifty, I could buy a nine-inch dildo that looked like a dick and balls, with a suction cup at the bottom. Twenty-five for a mother fucking metal ‘shower enema nozzle’… Nope, I hadn’t fallen that far yet. Not that there’s anything wrong with shoving a shower-head up your ass and having explosive diarrhea into the bathtub, but it wasn’t something I’d feel comfortable doing while I was still living with my parents.

“Oh, holy shit! That’s a lot cheaper than I expected…” 

Then I finally found something decent: A black, fancy-looking magic wand, that got a lot of decent reviews. It was thirty-five dollars, but that wasn’t necessarily expensive. It wasn’t wireless, so I wouldn’t need to worry about replacing batteries and other stuff. Although, I didn’t know how safe it was to rub something that would get soaking wet, onto my pussy, while having it connected to an outlet.

“Meh, fuck it. If I die, I die.”

Yeah, maybe I wasn’t that worried after all. Besides, no one in the comments complained about getting electrocuted or even shocked, so I figured it was pretty safe. I put it into the cart, then noticed another one that was half the price, but it had shitty reviews. Trusting my instincts, I moved on in order to find a decent dildo.

It literally only took about five seconds. After scrolling down on the main sex-toys page, I saw two dicks next to each other. One was called “7-Inch Realistic Penis with Suction Cup” or something like that. It just looked like a pink dick, with balls. The important thing was that it was normally a forty-dollar product, but it was on sale for ten.

Of course, even if I chose the cheapest shipping costs, each of them would have added another seven dollars. Instead of spending fourteen dollars on motherfucking shipping and handling, I just signed up for the seven-day free trial of Rainforest Extreme. That way I could get two-day shipping, for free. It was the middle of the week, so they would end up delivering it either Friday or Monday. Regardless, I had made an actual commitment to my new body.