BCJ, Chapter 48: Delivery

Inside the two boxes were identical laptops. Both black, with silver skulls in the middle of the back of the monitor. Skullware, a fancy gaming computer brand that I never could afford before. Of course, it’s not like it really matters that much. I was just in a rush, and they were about the same price as the normal computers, but with higher specs. The operating system was the same. They were already preloaded as well. I didn’t need to install anything special. I just had to wipe them down and clean them off, then hit the ‘power’ button and they were good to go.

I brought one over to the bar counter, plugging the surprisingly small battery charger into the outlet on the wall. The outlet was right above the counter, for easy access I guess.

Unfortunately, most gaming services like Stream, would require me to make separate accounts in order to use them simultaneously. Well, that’s not particularly surprising. And while it would have been extremely expensive to me before, I didn’t mind spending a few hundred dollars on games I already had, so long as they were really fucking awesome. Plus, I had a feeling that my mysterious voyeurs would be interested to figure out my mental limits through video games. They didn’t specifically say that, it was just where things were going.

For the laptop in the kitchen, I wasn’t planning on using it for gaming. However, just in case, I decided to download Stream, Dromma, GG and Crystalia, the only four gaming platforms I used. There was only one WIFI available, and the connection was seemingly impossibly fast. And the computer itself was pretty great, so within a minute or two of me downloading random shit, importing my bookmarks and checking my email, I was able to sign into those four programs.

By the way, my email was filled with messages about various bank transactions. Then I had to make a new Email for Ana, Anael777, which I subsequently used to create FaceNovel, GG, Dromma, Crystalia and Stream Accounts. It took a while, so in the meantime, I brought the laptop upstairs and was enjoying the extraordinarily comfortable leather-ish office chairs.

“It’s gonna be so much easier to have sex with these fancy chairs…” I murmured, leaning back as far as possible. The chair actually didn’t creak or seem like it might break, it locked into place instead. Yep, it had a recliner function. It did feel a little weird, leaning my backs against the leather-ish material without a shirt on… But I got used to it eventually.

“I should really buy a sofa or something though…” The upstairs living room was pretty barren, but then again, so was the rest of the house. I barely had any actual furniture, though that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It made the place look way more spacious.

Then I found myself binge watching The Cores, a somewhat mediocre science fiction series about time-traveling Nazi Robots that may or may not be historically accurate. What? After finding out about ∞, I’ve started to question everything… Okay, that’s a lie. I always question everything, because I never really believe anything, but I also keep my mind open to any possibilities, no matter how seemingly absurd.

Anyway, I was waiting for The Gates of Sidhe, Gun God Online and various other games to download on my new laptop. It had two terabytes of hard drive, but most of those games were extremely massive. Still, I decided to take things slow, and at some point, I started leveling up two new characters in TDoS at the same time: A female Fomorian Chaos Druid on Ana’s account, and a female Hinterland Troll Warlock on my original account… Yeah, I think I’ve already established that I like super beefy women. I’m also really bad at making male characters for some strange reason. To be fair though, most races have twice as many decent female presets than male ones.

Before I even reached level twenty on both characters, it was 5:30 PM and my doorbell rang while I was taking a rare dual piss break downstairs. It wasn’t a ‘Ding-Dong’, but more of a *Bzzzztt!*

“Delivery for Michael Cinagra, A&E-77, has been completed successfully. Leaving the premises.” A loud androgynous robotic voice was talking to itself, while I was still busy urinating. Once I finished pissing and wiped myself off with toilet paper, I headed towards the front door with both bodies at the same time. At least two minutes had passed, so I wasn’t surprised to find that no one was there when I looked through the windows on both sides of the door.

Without even bothering to get my gun or knife, I decided to slowly open the door with Ana’s hands and peek outside. Then I opened it all the way, really quickly, and bolted outside. Without wasting any time, I grabbed the huge plastic yellow crate and dragged it inside. It wasn’t that heavy, though I was using both my bodies to just barely lift it off the ground and set it down gently, in order to not scratch up my floor. Then I closed the door and locked it, letting out two deep sighs.

“Fucking A, it feels like I’m gonna become even more of a shut-in now…” I grumbled to myself, as Michael, then started examining the crate in more detail. Near the front door was considered ‘The Dirty Zone’, where I still had a few bags of junk and clothing laying around.

For the most part, the crate was just a big plastic box, two feet wide, three feet tall and six feet long. The outside was a neon yellow, and the plastic was pretty durable and thick. There weren’t any handles or anything, while the lid was made of two halves, which had ‘teeth’ interlocked down the middle. On the very center of the top of the crate, there was a large paper sticker that had my name on it and a list of the items inside.

After breaking the seal, I struggled for about five minutes just trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to open it. Then I realized there were some buttons on each of the ends, once you press them at the same time, the thing opened up on its own.

I was kinda expecting to find a bunch of cardboard boxes inside, but then I remembered that all the things I ordered weren’t really breakable. The shield was the heaviest item, and the largest. I pulled that out first and placed it on the floor. I was gonna have to wash everything anyway.

The three different kinds of bullets each came in different containers, while the toilet paper was just in there. They didn’t even bother with those stupid styrofoam packaging thingies. I was left wondering, “Why the fuck did they use such a big box?”

“Hmmm, now that I’m opening shit anyway…” I murmured to myself, noticing the two unopened cardboard boxes near the wall. Inside were those two sex toys I ordered. A simple dildo and a wand vibrator.

Meanwhile, Ana found the compound bow in its own slender black case. It kinda looked similar to a guitar case, but shaped like the bow inside. Then the ten arrows were sealed in one plastic thing, while the arrowheads were also sealed in plastic. The kind that’s really annoying and you have to use a knife to cut open, while trying not to slice off a finger in the process.

She opened up the plastic containers and assembled the arrows. Then I got done washing off the dildo and vibrator in the sink with soap and came over to help her put together the bow. The string had to be attached, along with some of the miscellaneous parts, like the little scope-ish thing. Rather than a scope, it acted more like an ironsight on a gun. Since it didn’t magnify anything.

“Fucking A, this is gonna take forever to clean…” I wasn’t even thinking about how using alcohol wipes or soapy water could potentially damage the bow or its strings, since the slightly-greased wheels probably couldn’t be washed off with water anyway. Those big-ass targets lined the whole bottom of the box. They were sealed in plastic bags, but the problem was that there was no way to actually clean that kinda material. Thus, I decided to just leave them in their bags. The plastic was clear anyway, so I could still see the red circles and black center pretty easily.

I brought the newly cleaned shield over near the kitchen, then casually laid it up against the door. It was pretty fucking huge, so as long as I was wearing armored boots or something, I could be totally protected from a single direction. Of course, I wasn’t planning on wearing shoes any time soon, but you get the point.

The bow, arrows and targets all went downstairs. As for the bullets, I brought them up into the upstairs living room, where my revolver was resting on one of the bigger window sills. It was basically in the center of the front of the house. There was this one big and wide, rectangular fixed window, with two shorter and narrower windows on its sides. Those side windows could be opened inwardly, and didn’t have screens. Yeah, it scared the shit outta me the first time I opened them and almost fell out the window, but fortunately, they weren’t wide enough for my shoulders or hips to fit through. And I guess if I really tried, my asses probably wouldn’t fit either.

“I probably should’ve bought a second gun… Heh, I can’t believe I’m actually gonna shoot a gun, after all these years.” I snickered to myself, and stood behind Ana. Her hands were way less shaky than mine, and her eyesight wasn’t terrible, so I decided that I might as well let her fire first.

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