BCJ, Chapter 57: Delivery

So after my shopping spree, I decided to try out some more sexual yoga. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get ‘in the zone’ or whatever, so I didn’t experience anything supernatural again. Of course, I did make a few hundred dollars from the creampies, which was nice.

By the time I had sex for the third time, I heard my doorbell ring through the basement speakers. However, when I got upstairs, there were only packages and no delivery person in sight. I could see a silver yacht speeding off to the right. It was only about 6 am, but the sun was already rising in that direction. Unlike in the city, on this island, you don’t really need to wait for the sun to rise above any buildings or other structures. At least not on the northern coast where I was at.

Speaking of sunlight, although I was afraid of getting randomly sniped, I still took some time everyday to ‘sunbathe’ in one of my windows. Usually the bathroom, since there were no visible houses in the distance. But sometimes I took my chances in the morning and stood in front of the window in my ‘office’. Obviously I had to open the glass part, and let the sun come through completely unfiltered or it would defeat the point.

Anyway, I was a little surprised that the frozen food actually came with their own coolers. I mean, they weren’t particularly fancy, but maybe they were added into the shipping charge? Either way, I still took everything into the house as quickly as possible and then locked the door behind me. With so much raw meat, even frozen, I didn’t want to run into any tigers, bears or alligators lurking about.

Looking back, I realize now that my OCD was kinda receding to an extent. For example, I didn’t urgently feel the need to scrub down my entire body with soap after putting all the food into the freezer and refrigerator. Oh by the way, I also bought some fruit juice blends like strawberry peach, mango and even cranberry in case of urinary tract problems. I mostly just use the strawberry peach as an additive to semi-sweet tea. While I drank the mango cocktail plain, typically when I woke up in the middle of the night to piss.

I still washed my hands and stuff, but I didn’t freak out as much anymore. I think it had a lot to do with my acne… Or lack of acne. It was kind of like a trigger for me. Well, that and the fact that I used to get super sick all the time as a kid/teenager. In the olden days, when I didn’t give a fuck about hygene, washing my hands or avoiding touching things that are most definitely filthy.

If you’ve never had cystic acne, you probably won’t understand. There was always something, somewhere. If I had a pain in my neck, it was almost certainly because there was a huge boil or cyst underneath the sky. My throat felt really tight? Definitely had a cyst forming nearby. Sometimes I’d get them right next to my ear, and it’d cause horrible ear aches. The nose was probably the worst… Just anywhere near my sinuses and I was in agony for days or a week. I had them mostly on my chest and back as a teenager, but fortunately, the chest ones seemed to go away eventually, for whatever reason. But that didn’t stop my back from getting cysts and boils all over the place at random, sometimes even my fucking arms or legs, or ass… Hell, it wasn’t impossible to get them on my balls or dick. For most of my teens, I honestly thought I might have herpes or something, but it was just acne. Horrible, painful and terrifying cystic acne…

Even after three months of being free from that ‘curse’, I still have nightmares sometimes. The worst of which, involve both my bodies having cystic acne simultaneously. Fortunately, Ana is literally my guardian angel. I mean, even without some kinda weird secret insect surgery or whatever the fuck they did to me the first time, just being with Ana is enough to protect me from myself. It’s like our hormones even each other out or something? At least according to the bullshit scientific nonsense that Infinity vaguely told me so far.

I didn’t believe it at first, but after the first few months, it’s hard to deny anymore. I feel healthy. Which is something I think, most people have a hard time saying now days. Because there are just so many fucking illnesses and stupid shit that can go wrong. But even with the archery training, exercising, yoga and everything else, I feel so much better than ever before. Maybe some pains and aches when I push my bodies too far, but they heal fast. ‘We’ heal fast. And due to the nature of exercise, healing fast, means we make gains really quickly.

Anyway, once I put away all the food, I finally started unpacking the more interesting stuff. Well, it was only two things really: The 9mm semi-auto black pistol, which looked kinda generic, and the black 5.56 Infinity Corporation Rifle… Both guns didn’t really inspire much awe to be honest. They were hand cannons or giant light machine guns. Both were fairly lightweight, which is good, I think. At the very least, it meant that I’d be able to carry more of them, more easily.

I didn’t buy any extended mags or fancy drum magazines. Although they’d allow me to shoot continuously, for a longer period of time, I wasn’t planning on fighting a war or anything like that. I needed to get used to the way the weapons handled and all that shit. I figured I should start with the basic magazines that they were designed to us, before doing anything else.

For the pistol, it could hold 15 rounds, not including an extra one for the chamber. While the rifle had a normal magazine capacity of 30. The guns also came with lots of other stuff that I really never even thought about before, like oil and maintenance equipment. There were also some manuals that described how to take the weapons apart and put them back together again. It was actually way more fucking work than I expected it to be.

I did realize something pretty important though. Shooting randomly at the ocean waves wasn’t very useful. At least I got some experience with simply aiming, taking cover, reloading, getting a feel for the recoil and that kinda shit. However, it wasn’t nearly as interesting as I expected it to be.

Probably because, even during the day, I could just barely see some splashes in the distance. And that was kinda rare, since the waves were constantly rolling in. It wasn’t like a calm lake, where you’d at least be able to notice the waterspouts and ripples. I bought two sets of hearing and eye protection. Basically giant head-phone looking things and simple acrylic goggles. The glasses were similar to the kind people use for chemistry and woodworking. There are loads of things that can go wrong when using a firearm, so I wasn’t willing to lose my hearing or sight during training. 

So like I was saying, the problem was that I didn’t have any real targets to shoot. There was no way I was gonna set up a shooting range in my fucking house, since there just wasn’t enough room for it to be meaningful. Ultimately, I bought some metal targets online, but just never got around to setting them up outside.

My shut-in habits are pretty hard to break, especially under the threat of literally getting mauled by a fucking tiger. No, if it was just tigers, gators and other wild animals, I wouldn’t even be so concerned. After all, I had guns. And under normal circumstances, shouldn’t those critters be off in the jungle somewhere?

“What the actual fuck?!” Is what I said the first time I looked out my window in the morning and saw a god damn ‘pride’ of lions just chilling on my lawn! When I looked out at them, they all just kinda stared at me.

Whether it was Ana or Michael, they just lazily glared at me whenever they could see me. Didn’t really roar or make too much noise. The little cubs were adorable and all, but the two huge males and ten adult females would always be tracking my movements through the various windows.

Why didn’t I just shoot my gun a few times to scare them away? Or directly kill a few to scare the others? Well first of all, they’re a fucking endangered species, and second of all, I have never intentionally killed any animal. I would if I had to, but I didn’t need to go outside and they weren’t directly threatening my life or property.

More importantly, I received a message on my phone from Infinity: [Please do not hunt any of the wildlife without permission. That pride of lions is scheduled to be shipped away in a few days. We decided to use your property to house them for a while, due to… Your particular habits.”

Basically, other people wouldn’t hole up in their house all day every day like I do, so they figured it’d be fine to use my yard as a shelter for some kitty cats they’re ‘shipping away’. Which is suspicious for so many reasons, but I didn’t bother asking, because I honestly don’t give a shit. Judging by the fact that they managed to clone a female version of my own body from some of my DNA, and all the weird super-animals or spy bugs, their technology is obviously way beyond the point where they can casually farm a few lions or whatever.

Hell, they might be the reason why so many endangered species haven’t actually gone extinct yet. For that matter, they’re like a global shadow organization, so they might be behind a lot of wildlife sanctuaries for all I know. Honestly, I don’t give a damn either way.

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