Chapter 83: Boar Farming

“New Quest: You have discovered an unclaimed Natural Treant Orchard. Clear away all the Demonic Boars infesting the area and plant twenty Life-Fruit in the vicinity within three months. Rewards: Four acres of movable territory to add to your Player-Home, and five-hundred experience points for yourself and each of your Companions.”

Michael yelled “Holy shit-sauce!” as he returned to his body, and stared at the worried Priestess. Inari had returned to her normal size and was panting, while resting on the ground, next to the cat-girl’s feet.

Elina asked “Are you sure you really want to go into that mess? Even if you’ve gotten a lot stronger, you aren’t invincible…”

He snickered and then pat her head, with his silver gauntlet, “Of course I’m not walking into a horde of stampeding rhinos. Even if I did managed to kill a fuck-ton of them, they’d probably go to waste anyway. Watch this nifty little trick!”

Clutching the Arcane Orb in his left hand, Michael pitched it randomly into the wall of giant boars and then swiftly yanked his arm back. The cat-girl screamed “It’s flying right at us!?” as the massive beast was lifted off the ground and seemed to have jumped sideways, falling rapidly towards the three of them.

Even with his increased Strength and leverage, the Nephilim still struggled to pull the monster towards them like that: even though its weight had been reduced by 55%. He yelled “Damn it! This was a terrible idea!” while using both hands, to stab the massive sword through the incoming enemy.

Fortunately, it died instantaneously, while receiving over a hundred and sixty damage. Before the creature was able to smash into the three of them, he reached out his left hand and sent it into his inventory.

It was only level-nine, but still rank-F, so both himself and Elina received nine experience. She was immediately enveloped in a bright radiance and told “You have reached level nine.”

Michael snickered, before muttering “More nines than a Hitler speech… Well, there’s probably no one in this world would even understand that shitty joke.”

The cat-girl took a deep breath, and then glared at him, before complaining “Is there a reason why you needed to do that right in front of us? Never-mind, I don’t care anymore. I’ve reached my limit of being shocked, surprised and terrified today. I’m just going to sit here in the sunlight and close my eyes.” as she sat down cross-legged, next to the exhausted fox.

Inari was casually licking the pitch-black blood off of her fur, and didn’t even seem to notice that she was nearly crushed to death. Michael was about to pull the second rhino-boar, when he felt a sharp pain running throughout his body, and grumbled “Ow~, ugh~, nope, I think I strained my everything…”

His Stamina had dropped significantly, and although his HP was 239/250, his injuries were much more severe than he had expected. Elina sighed, then chanted “Please Goddess, grant me the power to heal this moron…” as a bright light constantly fell onto the Nephilim.

Once his pulled muscles were regenerated, Michael started laughing hysterically. Then he threw out the Arcane Orb, and yanked a level-eleven, rank-F Demonic Boar into the air.

He yelled “Arcane Insta-Kill!” while stabbing it through the torso with his sword, and sending it into his inventory a moment before he would have been crushed. Then he screamed “Gah! My balls, ugh! I can’t move my neck, oh shit, fuck, heals, heals please!?” as he fell onto his knees.

When he finished his third ‘battle,’ his body was enveloped in a blinding light and a monotonous female voice announced “You have reached level fourteen.” However, when the radiance faded, his hair was black, eyes were crimson, wings were gone, and even his beard had somehow grown back instantly: The buffs had disappeared.

[Player Information

Name: Michael
Titles: The Nudist, The Noob, The Immortal, The Lurker, The Survivor, The Astronaut, Shinigami, The Heretic
Level: 14
Experience: 1/280
Age: Adult
Race: Nephilim
Rank: E
Class: Guardian
Specialization: Tank, Melee and Ranged Damage Dealer, Support
Profession: Leatherworker Level 3]


Health: 240/240
Mana: 65/65
Stamina: 120/120
Mana Regen per minute: 110
Health Regen per hour: 240

Strength: 12(+12)
Vitality: 12(+12)
Endurance: 12(+12)
Dexterity: 6
Agility: 6(+3)
Intelligence: 10(+3)
Wisdom: 6(+5)
Perception: 5
Charisma: 3(+3)

Willpower: 21
Luck: 21
Aura: 11.8

Attack Power: 120(+52.5)
Defense Rating: 12(+59)]


Resist Paralysis Level 3: Resists Level three paralysis spells and abilities.

Poison Resistance Level 3: Resists Level three poisons and toxins.

Immune System Boost Level 5: Resists Level five infectious diseases and illnesses.

Superior Regeneration Level 3: Organs and bones that have been lost, can be completely regenerated. Recovery speed is dependent on the amount of mana consumed.

Arcane Affinity Level 3: Increases mana and health regeneration dramatically, inside of dungeons.

Arcane Body Level 3: Completely breaks-down waste in the large intestines and bladder, transforming it into mana, which is used to satiate hunger. When Stamina becomes relatively low, mana is consumed to slowly replenish it. The Aura stat determines the rate of decomposition.

Light Affinity Level 2: Mana and Health recovery increases dramatically when exposed to Sunlight and Moonlight. Reduces damage taken by enemies of the Darkness Affinity by 20%.

Throwing Mastery Level 4: Increases Attack Rating while utilizing throwing weapons by 20%.

Greatsword Mastery Level 1: Increases Attack Rating of two-handed blades and swords by 5%

Guardian’s Constitution Level 2: Increases the body’s natural Strength, Vitality and Endurance by two points. Aggro generation increases dramatically. Increasing healing taken from allies by 20%.]

Between the fight against the Boss and his relatively short killing-spree, Michael’s Passives had made improvements. He muttered “Why don’t I feel any smarter no matter how much I raise my Intelligence? Well, whatever, at least my mana-pool is a bit bigger now.”

The fourth Demonic Boar was only level-nine, so he wasn’t able to receive any experience from killing it. However, Elina still only received half of what should have been the total.

Fortunately, it was still a rank-F, and still gave nine-points. Of course, even if it was relatively weak, the creature’s weight was still ridiculous. With his body writhing in agony, he grumbled “Shit, I completely forgot about buffs…”

After a few seconds, he used ‘Stat-Boost’ on all three of them at the same time, and the skill-level increased. Normally, it would be something that people would be happy about, but he just grumbled “Fuck my life; I need to keep raising my Intelligence or I won’t even be able to cast this shit anymore.”

Elina yelled “How do your skills level-up so quickly?! Ah~ thank you Goddess!” as she used her Flash-Heal on him and received a notification that her spell’s level had reached five.

Michael asked her “I’ve been wondering this for a while now, but why the fuck are your spells so… vague? I mean, look at mine; they’re pretty clear about the costs and effects, but yours are just like ‘Oh hey, stack Int for the win and don’t try to think too hard.’ It says shit’s dependent on a certain stat, but doesn’t actually give any fucking values… Is that normal, or maybe the System was just being lazy when it set-up your spell-book?”

She complained “It’s not my fault that I wasn’t born into a super-powerful Clan that can afford to buy Skill-Books… Wait-wait-wait, doesn’t that mean that you have a skill-book? You never did explain how you learned all those spells, you just showed them off and disappeared in the middle of our conversation!”

He snickered and then a blindingly-bright book appeared in his gauntlet-covered hand. Michael smirked, before saying “Ah, I wonder how many gifts I need to give you before our relationship is at the blowjob level? That was a joke by the way. When you eventually fall in love with me, then I’ll teach you the wonders of oral sex…”

Elina quickly stood up and snatched the tome out of his hand, before ‘Scanning’ it: “The Teachings of Lux: A first edition copy of the best selling novel, written by Helel. An autobiography of her childhood, living with an avatar of Lux and her Human father, Luke. Before she was a powerful rank-SSS Seraphim World Boss, Helel started her life as a level-zero, rankless Lesser Angel and slowly improved herself over the course of five-thousand years. There are a total of three-hundred volumes, consisting of twenty chapters each and a total of over sixty-million words. Formerly owned by Pope Sariel the third, Auriel the Pious, Ezekiel the Doombringer, and Goliath the Devourer. Epic Quality, no level requirement.”

She was completely dumbfounded, while her mouth hung open and tears were flowing out of her golden eyes. The cat-girl immediately fell to her knees, while biting her lip, furrowing her brows and tightly pressing the nearly legendary skill-book against her chest.

Michael said “Huh, that’s weird… Well, I guess to a giant turtle-monster, level-zero Epics aren’t really worth much. Oi, what the hell are you doing?”

The Priestess was kneeling in front of him, with her eyes closed and mouth agape. Elina told him “It’s okay, I’m ready now; as long as it’s just my mouth, you can do whatever you want… I’ll just pretend like I’m sucking on a banana.”

55 thoughts on “Chapter 83: Boar Farming

  1. So the best part, Micheal just blew over all the biography parts of the book and went straight for the skills, his companion Elina is brought to tears over reading the Biography description.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, Michael’s “Introduction to the Arcane Arts,” was literally just a textbook from an ancient university that taught Arcane magic… until Goliath destroyed it roflmao. On the other hand, “The Teachings of Lux” is essentially just an autobiography, which coincidentally gives detailed descriptions of how Helel learned various spells lol.

      Although, yeah, there ain’t no way in hell Michael would have read a book that was 60 million words long… Did anyone else read that part? Where it said how long the book was? lol


      • longest biography I’ve read was 3.5 million though it was fictional… with that said 60 mill would be one hell of a challenge and sorting through the filler for the skills ugh. Shits going to take literally forever if she tries to read it normally while all hell is breaking loose around them + everyday distractions. And knowing how devoted she is to Lux, you know she’s going to try it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, even if it’s long as hell, it’s still a biography, so it wouldn’t really help her if she skipped ahead anyway. Like, the beginning would have all the skills that she could actually learn at her current level anyway :P.


    • The MC is too nice, like,really fucking nice, but well, it’s all about the mentality though. Companions aren’t necessarily meant to be sex-buddies, but if you put two people together who are attracted to each-other… especially if one of them is really fucking honest about everything, shit happens lol. Or maybe no shit happens, cause if I tell you that shit is gonna happen, it’d be a spoiler, but if I say that it doesn’t happen, it’s also a spoiler… fml. lol


  2. I was right…..almost
    here comes the blowjob
    its even better than before
    now its in a Chaotic Boar Farm…….lets c if a Boar sees it nd comes running towards them

    but damn man that Cliff

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ranged kills,having a blowjob while having a near death experience by being squished to death with a possibility to have a BBQ at same time in the near future,huh i’m impressed;well played

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s