Elina suddenly felt an extremely familiar and overwhelming aura emanating from beyond that closed door. However, before Michael could open it, there was a flash of blinding light, and then whoever had been there, disappeared.
She weakly crawled off of the thick and fluffy mattress, flopping down onto the hard floor. He snickered and told her “Ah, yeah, it was just Lux… she’s been spying on us for a while now.”
The cat-girl stared up at him with a horrified expression on her beautiful face, asking “W-why would the Goddess of Light be here?” Even though she vaguely remembered seeing Arcana a few days prior, she still didn’t want to believe that the holiest being in existence, had watched her acting in such a vulgar manner.
Michael snickered, shrugging, “No fuckin clue why they give so many shits about us… Maybe they’re just bored? When I was losing my anal virginity last night, there were four of them watching us, chatting about random nonsense. Hate ta break it to ya, but that little brat Lux, was there too.”
Elina yelled “My Goddess wouldn’t do something like that!” as she struggled to stand up and glared at him, while pouting her golden lips. He sighed dramatically, as he walked forwards and then pulled her against his body.
As he ran his fingers through her lustrous silver hair, and briefly played with her fluffy cat-ears, Michael told her “Meow-Meow, you really need to be a little more open-minded. Here, look at this book…” He sat down onto the edge of the bed, pulled out ‘The Teachings of Lux’ and placed her on his lap sideways.
Then he began reading aloud “When I was a child, Mama and Papa used to tell me ‘The most important things in life are love and having fun.’ Of course, they didn’t mention that they were two of the most powerful beings in the universe, and how much suffering they had to experience to get there. Yes, even the Goddess of Light was once a mortal like the rest of us. I-”
However, the cat-girl quickly snatched it out of his hand and started scanning through the page rapidly, before muttering “This says that when Lux and Umbra were first created by Arcana, she forced them to start from level-zero and completely rankless… I always suspected it, but if this story was really written by the Morning Star, then it should be accurate. On the other hand, not even the High-Priestess at the Convent would ever be able to read a holy text this ancient and in pristine condition.”
Michael sighed, and rested his chin on her incredibly thin right shoulder, while telling her “Welp, while you read that impossibly long super-novel, I’ve got lots of shit to do.” He sat the ridiculously light Feline Angel down onto the bed, and then vanished. After a few seconds passed, Elina looked up and noticed that he was gone, but immediately returned her golden eyes to the ‘divine’ masterpiece in her hands.
The northern guest-room was completely empty, but considering that no one was living there, it wasn’t that big of a deal. However, he still bought a fairly decent Queen-sized, ‘normal’ mattress, for a level-three, rank-F mana-core, which belonged to a certain Blood Cobra: plus one gold coin.
It came with a simple mahogany frame, dark-green sheets and a comforter, including two fluffy brown pillows. He muttered “For almost two years I’ve been struggling to sleep on a broken piece of shit, and now I can make a bed that should cost at least a thousand dollars, appear out of thin air. Anyway, I guess it’s time to ‘furnish’ my room…”
Once his mana was completely recovered, he vanished again, and reappeared in the middle of his bedroom. As his ‘Lightening’ wore off, his facial hair didn’t grow back, which made him yell “Holy shit-balls! I never have to shave again?!”
Then he looked down at his mildly furry pubic region and complained “Never-mind, ugh, maybe I can just telekinetically yank it all out?” However, instead of testing that theory, he used one of the Demonic Boar mana-cores, and ten gold, to buy a king-sized ‘bed.’
He started laughing hysterically, as the wooden floor near the center of the southern wall, began transforming. Eventually, the strange, slimy, pink organism finally finished growing and its surface was constantly pulsating.
Michael walked towards it, and the shape was altered, seemingly attempting to reach out to him. The Nephilim jumped onto the center of it, and slammed his back onto the thick, powerful muscle, as it recoiled.
His three-hundred and fifty pound body was bounced a meter into the air, before gently being enveloped by the sides of that flexible structure. He felt both warm and wet, but surprisingly comfortable, yet more than anything, “I guess I’m finally gonna get that blowjob.”
Rather than a bed, it was simply a gigantic living tongue. When he was about to start alleviating his arousal, he noticed that there was a mysterious hole in the wall and floor behind the bed.
Without thinking too deeply about it, Michael entered the strange esophageal tube, and was ‘swallowed’ downwards, until her emerged from a hole in the ceiling of a small, dark bathroom. After opening the door, he discovered that he had unsurprisingly fallen into the basement. His body was oddly completely cleansed of the slimy substance, as he was sliding down the house’s throat.
The small, obsidian-skinned Dark-Goblin was soundly sleeping on the floor, cuddling with a Human skeleton. There was actually an eerie smile on her tiny blue lips, as she radiated a terrifying aura of death and hatred.
Michael casually laid down on the stone ground, behind her, and wrapped his gigantic arms around Sarah and his own bleached bones. However, while she was unconscious, her worm-like tail seemed to sense his presence and even reacted to it.
Perhaps it was muscle memory, or maybe it simply considered his genitals as a source of nutrients, but the relatively small mouth opened up and began sucking on his reproductive organ. The Nephilim played with the girl’s lustrous bluish-silver hair, and fondled her long elven ears, before moving down to her slimy, minuscule breasts.
He silently thought to himself “I wonder what Profession I should try to get? If it’s about the things that I’m actually good at… it’d have ta be either ‘Writer’ or ‘Musician,’ but maybe ‘Chef’ is also an option? Hmmm~, either way, Leatherworking is kinda pointless now. As far as I can tell, pretty much all of the Crafting Professions are pretty useless unless I seriously want to learn how to use them properly. Elina is an Enchanter, and Sarah is trying to become a Necromancer… Huh, wait a second, if undead are considered ‘Darkness Golems,’ then doesn’t that mean I should be able to reproduce the effect using other Elements? Ah~, worm-jobs are so~ much better than blowjobs!”
Once he was ‘finished’ cuddling with the adorable and terrifying little monster-girl, he teleported into his personal bathroom. Seeing how the bed had turned out, Michael needed to know what a Chaotic Shower looked like.
It cost him a Demonic Boar mana-core and seven gold, but he immediately complained “Isn’t this just a giant red slime?” There was indeed a three-meter wide and tall blob of crimson mucus adhering to the ceiling, walls and floor on one half of the far side of the bathroom.
The only difference between what he was looking at, and an actual slime-monster, was that it had no mana-core. Thus, the creature before him wasn’t an elemental-beast, but instead, simply part of the Player-Home.
He took a deep breath and then bravely walked inside of the strange mucus-like substance. Michael was actually fairly impressed with the interesting piece of technology, and noticed that it was possible to lower or raise the temperature with a thought.
Fortunately, with his unreasonably high physical stats, he could hold his breath for an extremely long time. Thus, he was able to fully enjoy the deep-tissue scrub that was being performed on his skin, hair and even under his nails. The inside of his bowels, ears, and nose weren’t spared either, as he floated within the scalding hot liquid.
After emerging from the giant crimson slime, he felt completely refreshed and satisfied with his purchase. However, he did notice something rather irritating: A muscular, three-eyed and four-armed woman was standing in front of his doorway.
She smiled at him, while giggling, then growled angrily before firing a beam of crimson lightning out of her mouth. A huge ‘-1,317,417,814’ appeared above his head, as his entire body completely froze into an ice-sculpture.
Then his wisp was forced out of the corpse, before he watched the strange Goddess begin licking and molesting it. He complained “Yup, this bitch is even crazier than I am… Oh, yay, she just shoved my frozen cock into her asshole. Hmmm, is this considered rape or vandalism? Hahahaha~, what the actual fuck just happened?!”
Michael opened his eyes and noticed that he was laying on the slimy and warm Demonic Bed. For a moment, he thought that he had actually finally dreamt for the first time since coming to that world… When he saw the shattered chunks of frozen Nephilim laying around the bathroom, he sighed dramatically and muttered “Terfuckingriffic, now I gotta clean this shit up…”
At that moment, he received a notification: “You have had a miscarriage. The Darkness mana-cores that were growing in your bladder have been destroyed before they had the chance to be born.”