Chapter 152: Getting Serious…

After shoving everything into a single treasure-chest, it was decided that Elina would be the one to carry it within her second bag-slot.  As for the other five, “No, you can’t keep the damn chests!  Those things aren’t just antiques, they’re also made out of solid gold!  Ugh, fine, you can take one, but leave the others there!  Consider it as payment for that… never-mind, all of you should eat, drink, piss, shit or whatever, and be ready in fifteen minutes!”

Johnny the Dungeon-Master was one of the most powerful beings on the entire planet, so he was also absurdly wealthy.  Obviously, he didn’t care about a few hundred or thousand gold, and those Epics were probably worth more than an entire Human city, but there were rules.

His Boss was Arcana, and she wouldn’t let him just give away ‘divine’ artifacts or other priceless treasures.  However, as long as there was a ‘legitimate’ reason, she wouldn’t reprimand him for it.

In fact, that enigmatic and eccentric being was in charge of every Dungeon and Raid within Carrabelle Plains.  Within his ‘domain’ or ‘zone,’ he had the authority only slightly below Ignis, Aeris, Terra and Aqua.

Yet, the reason why he was able to keep such a position had to do with his personality and work-ethic.  Even when dealing with annoying ‘customers’ or ‘actors’ such as Michael and his Companions, Johnny was still able to make a considerable profit, while not smiting them out of frustration.

His predecessor was actually ‘fired,’ because he decided to create an ‘open-world’ Raid, out of boredom.  No one wanted to enter the Dungeons, so he figured that he might as well bring the Dungeon to them… Everyone died, and the Goddess of Light herself had to come down and cast ‘Mass Resurrection’ to ‘fix’ the problem.

Fifteen minutes passed by very quickly, and the seven adventurers had managed to urinate, defecate, eat, and drink, or whatever else they needed to do.  Talia was even able to finally finish shoving all of her arrows into her seemingly endless quiver.

Standing in front of the slowly opening door, Michael was holding his Arcane Siegeblade with both hands.  He had a serious expression, as he asked his team-mates “Does anyone else feel like we’re forgetting something really important?”

Talia was at the back of their ‘formation,’ with the dragon-woman and both cat-girls directly behind the Guardian.  A tiny fox was on his left shoulder, and Sarah was on his right.

The Huntress told him “I believe that we still require ‘buffs,’ correct?  Even your wings are missing at the moment-”

“Sex!  We had like twenty minutes and I still have a hard-on!  Shit, Sarah, use your ridiculous Agility to give me a super-fast handjob before the gates open all the way!” After saying that, he made his giant sword float above his head and was about to ‘unequip his pants and underwear.

Johnny immediately shouted “Stop that!  Fucking hell!  Now we have to do the goddamn ‘Gateway-Opening’ scene again!”

Michael complained “Oh come on~!  Well, I can finish in like… fifteen seconds, but then she’d probably get horny, and Elina would get turned on.  It’d definitely end up as another orgy… Ugh, but my penis is telling me that it doesn’t care~!”

Talia asked “Must you always be so lewd and impulsive?” while equipping her Longbow of Wind and nocking an Enchanted Ironwood Arrow, which also had poison applied to it.

Sarah was holding a wakizashi in her right hand and a serpentine dagger in the left, as she grumbled “I’m activating my fucking gear, otherwise, this dumbass is gonna get us all killed!”  Her clothing instantly transformed, and she suddenly appeared more malicious than the monsters that they were going to be fighting.

After that, the Nephilim sighed loudly, and the doors slammed shut.  He held the Arcane Siegeblade in both hands and yelled “Okay~, we’re ready now~, I’ll ignore my boner somehow and just… ah wait, I have to piss again!”

“Nyah~, JJ has to pee too~!” Thus, they decided to take another short break, and after five minutes, they all gathered in front of the giant silver doors again.

The Nephilim snickered, muttering “I can’t believe we still haven’t even left the first room yet… Didn’t that Minotaur say there were two more Bosses after him?”

“Everyone shut up and act serious!  You’ve just defeated Karian the Gatekeeper and are finally about to enter the gauntlet… The goal is to make it through the traps, mobs and obstacles as quickly as possible.  Don’t waste your time picking up corpses and just keep moving!  At the end, you’re going to have to fight the second Boss, so good luck with that.  Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t even be talking to the adventurers that enter my Dungeons, but you bastards are obviously ‘special.’  Well, it’s also been at least five-hundred years since there were any Players in Carrabelle Plains, and there hasn’t been a group of ballsy NPC adventurers around here in well, even longer than that.”  Johnny was starting to get depressed at the state of his ‘zone,’ so he decided to stop talking and open the giant silver doors.

Hearing that, Michael quickly activated ‘Lightening’ as two giant angelic wings burst out of his back.  The pain and discomfort had almost completely disappeared, but before getting to that point, he had to use it a ridiculous number of times.  

Considering how much more excruciating ‘Darkening’ and ‘Asura’s Embrace’ were, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to ‘practicing’ them.  In fact, there was also a fairly powerful mental change, which made him enter into something similar to a ‘berserk’ state.  Of course, if he wasn’t in combat, then it would just cause him to have uncontrollable arousal.

He turned to the vixen on his left shoulder, “Inari, let Jasmine ride on your back…” after that, he glanced back at Elina, “Even if you can’t ‘fly,’ you can at least use your wings to help you move faster: like I do.”

Talia proudly stated “As long as I utilize my aura properly, I can easily carry the Priestess along with me when I soar.”

As the fox crawled between the tiny cat-girl’s legs, she suddenly grew many times larger and settled around the size of a grizzly-bear.  Then Michael glared at them all, with his glowing golden eyes, “It’s time to get super-serious motherfuckers… Everyone needs to stay behind me, but not too far!  Now, for the most important matter, which I finally remembered… Has anyone thought of a good team-name?  I was gonna go for something like ‘Harem Reaper’ or ‘The Immortal Assholes,’ but I’m open to suggestions.”

Jasmine yelled “Nyah~!  Oh-oh!  I know, pick me!” as she raised her hand and accidentally fired off her pistol into the ceiling.

The Huntress sighed, complaining “Please stop wasting your ammunition, and I don’t think you should use the word ‘Harem’ or any vulgarity in our name.  Aside from that, try to avoid innuendo…”

“How bout ‘Six Twats and a Little Bitch,’ or maybe ‘Manwhore and his Horny Hoes?’  Seriously, why the fuck does it even matter?” Sarah was obviously not interested in contributing.

Elina sighed, asking “Can we pick something nice, like ‘Angelic Grace’ or ‘The Guardians?’  I don’t want people to hate us… at least not immediately after hearing our name.”

Alice muttered “Hmmm, maybe ‘Chaos Legion?’  No, we aren’t really big enough to be a legion, so umm, ‘Overpowered Party?’  Maybe that’s a bit too pretentious…”

Michael grumbled “Penis… OP-ness, boner, cock, cunt, sock?  Something about masturbation… Ugh, no, I want it to be a little cool at least!  It has to completely infuriate our enemies, while making our nonexistent friends laugh!  Stop shooting the fucking ceiling!”

Jasmine complained “Mikey’s being mean~!  Wah~, I had a good name, but now I forgot it~… Nyah~, something hardcore, but I can’t remember anymore… Nyahahaha~, that rhymed~!”

Inari barked excitedly, calling out her idea for the name, but Talia told her “Hardcore OP-ness sounds too obscene, so we can’t pick that.”

“How about ‘The Annoying Bastards Who the Dungeon Master Is About to Ban If They Don’t Shut the Fuck up and Start the Goddamn Gauntlet?’  I like that one, or maybe you could just forget about naming yourselves, because no one is going to take you idiots seriously no matter how hardcore or OP you get!” Johnny had to close the doors again, and was reaching the absolute limit of his nearly endless patience.

A few seconds of silence passed, and Michael asked “So you guys think ‘Hardcore OP-ness’ is good then?”

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28 thoughts on “Chapter 152: Getting Serious…

  1. Me:Ohhh, the title! Credits,credits,credits.

    Gf: it has 200+ chapters plus we’re only at chapter 152.

    Me:. . . . . . .
    Gf:.. . . .

    Me: come on babe don’t be that guy.

    Gf:. . . . . . Shut up, click the next chapter already.

    Me: lmao

    Liked by 1 person

  2. …the seven deadly sins…
    Wrath – Sarah
    Lust – Elina(easily releases fluid substances)
    Envy – Jasmine(Craves attention)
    Gluttony – Inari
    Pride – Talia
    Greed – Michael (nuff said)
    Sloth – Alice (hikkimori)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I finished binge reading 152 chapter and I must say, this is one of the most entertaining piece of writing I have come across.

    I have cried tears of pure insanity while reading this. Thank goodness I was already insane when I started reading.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rofl, well, a funny story about Harem Reaper, is that ‘this’ story is kinda what I originally planned. However, I ended up making Harem Reaper a LMS fanfiction and I never got around to the harem parts lulz.

      Like

  4. So Inari suggested Hardcore OP-ness? you go girl. Just so you know I find Inari to be my favorite character, she started out as a little fox kit then grew into a dangerous gal. I wonder when or If Inari will be able to speak common speech. I can only imagine the comedy that will come out of her mouth.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nothing on your writing, but is the rest of the bosses gonna take the sam amount of time to finish like the last room, which just finished. (P.S im the gabe dude that asks questions before)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmm, I think the Gauntlet/Second Boss was pretty long? Idk, it’s been a long time since I wrote this stuff, so I don’t really remember how long everything was? It all seems to go by pretty quickly when you’re writing like 2-4 chapters a day… Although, i only wrote like 1 chapter yesterday and today… I don’t even know. My days are all mixed up.

      Liked by 1 person

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