TDoE V1 Chapter 22: Drastic Measures

The idea that I might get raped or manipulated for my virginity had been bothering me for a while. Sure, there was a potential for me to be able to cheat and find some super-overpowered Legendary bitch to have sex with… However, that would require me to reveal my awesome Innate Talent.

It was as if my v-card was a magical treasure that I was too weak to protect. Rather than having some random person steal it from me, I would rather use it to make Xiaotong stronger. She was my Spirit Companion and an Enhancement type as well, so the more powerful she became, the better it was for me.

“Now, the first part of this ritual requires lube…” I was still holding the skull with both hands and casually pulled it up to my face. Using my tongue, I felt the sharpness of her teeth and let out a sigh of relief. Fortunately, while they looked really intimidating, they were actually dull. It would make her even more useless if she was trying to fight, but at least I didn’t have to worry about her accidentally biting my dick off.

As I slobbered all over her incisors and palate, she giggled and told me “Stop that, it tickles…” Then I spat in my right hand to make sure that my penis was slimy enough and casually slid it inside of her nonexistent mouth.

“Umm… So yeah, are you feeling anything yet? Like, do you think it’s working? It kinda just hurts for me… Maybe I need to cum, or we both might have to orgasm at the same time? Who the fuck made these rules anyway?” It didn’t even seem ‘sexual’ to me.

“Levi, I think we’re doing it wrong… Maybe you need to put your thingy in one of my other holes?” Hearing her say that did turn me on a lot, but unfortunately, the options were pretty limited.

When shoved my dick into her eye socket, she yelped and I yelled “Motherfucker! Ow~!” Yeah, as it turned out, her crimson lightning was a lot more powerful after she Evolved. My penis was totally singed and the foreskin made it looked like a burnt sausage, so I couldn’t help but curse “Oh goddamn it!”

Xiaotong screamed “L-Levi… Are you okay? Oh no! What do we do?! I-I broke it! I’m so sorry Levi!”

The damage was so severe that I could barely feel it anymore. Then I had a ‘brilliant’ idea. I held onto one of those ram horns and shoved the other one up my ass. Yes, it was painful and extremely uncomfortable, but I did manage to pop my anal cherry.

I was bleeding all over the place, yet the ‘ritual’ was successfully completed. After pulling her own horn out of me, she immediately flew back into my Dantian and started crying loudly. However, there did seem to be a mild change to her Innate Talent. Apparently, it wasn’t an instant sort of deal, because the light within her eye sockets only dimmed a little bit. Her lightning was still bright-red…

Anyway, it was at that point that I roared “Anybody out there?! Hey ‘Master’ Hua~, you ain’t gonna get any of this precious cum if you don’t get in here and help me!”

The door slowly opened and I saw that old woman glaring down at me. Blood was spraying out of my ass and my cock was deep-fried, so her expression went from a scowl to a grimace.

“Hahahaha~, I um, my cultivation technique went a little… I’m gonna need a bit of medical attention, hahaha~! Ow~, fuck, I think I might be dying by the way…” That was the last thing I remember saying before losing consciousness.


Okay, so critically injuring myself may seem totally insane and completely meaningless. But, there was definitely a reason behind my madness! I knew that she wouldn’t let me die or allow my dick to become useless. The real gamble was whether or not she would have the skills to heal me. My bet was no, probably not.

“Yer one crazy brat, ya know that?!” When I woke up, I was in a pretty fancy looking bedroom. It wasn’t as extravagant as the Queen’s, but definitely a lot better than anything in the old man’s house.

I snickered, gazing up at that wrinkly face. Di was wearing a golden robe and sitting down next to the bed that I was laying in. My ass and dick both felt like they were on fire, though that just meant they were recovering. “Well, I tried to have sex with Xiaotong… Didn’t really work out. Shit! Don’t hit me you bastard!”

“Fuckin moron! How the hell ya gonna screw a Thunder Spirit?! And why ya gotta antagonize that old hag for?! Damn it! Yer lucky she called me! Sides that, why’d ya have ta go and break through in that kinda situation?! Ya should’ve waited till we were back home and away from this shitty place!”

He smacked me in the face a few more times, before letting out a melodramatic sigh and sitting back down onto his fluffy silver chair. I complained “How the hell do I get rid of my virginity for real? I put my dick in Xiaotong’s ‘mouth’, then shoved it in her eye socket and even penetrated my asshole with her horn… But her talent barely even changed. She went from neon-red to just regular scarlet.”

The old man started laughing hysterically and slapped his thigh loudly. Once he calmed down a bit, Di told me “Listen Kid, that ain’t sex. Ya gotta, ya know, like put yer cock inside uh a pussy, anus, mouth, whatever. Then ya gotta both channel yer Qi into each other… It’s a back and forth sorta thing. When the two uh ya can climax, then it’s sex. If it’s just one-sided, then it don’t count. And it depends on the kinda Spirit, but a lot uh times, it simply ain’t possible. Course, it ain’t necessary either! Yer already contracted ta yer Spirit! Little Xiaotong’s gonna be gettin stronger along with ya. Her Innate Talent will grow by feeding off uh yer Qi for a long time. As for yer virginity… That usually only has effects between Humans.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me… Why didn’t you mention any of this earlier?! Well, whatever, that’s not important. You may have heard this already, but I kinda-sorta made a deal with the Bitch Queen. I would give her enough jizz to create a small army of my offspring and she would teach me a bit of Druidry. Oh, my birthday is the seventh of Tianlong, not that it really matters anymore. Ah, and I don’t have any special bloodlines, so there’s that. Anyway, how long was I unconscious?” I rolled over to my left side, in order to see the old man more easily.

Di frowned, grumbling “Only half a day… I can’t believe ya got a pure Human bloodline with yer Heavenly talent. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad… Course, that hag might uh lied ta ya. Either that, or she might not be able ta recognize yer ancestry. She’s only a Master Stage Mortal… There’s plenty uh crazy shit out there that she wouldn’t even be able ta comprehend. Hell, that might be why she’s so keen on collecting yer baby-juice. Hmmm, the only thing I’m worried bout is whether or not she’ll snitch on ya. I shouldn’t uh brought ya here… Damn it, I just thought that she’d be interested in teaching ya a bit.”

I smirked, asking “So, now that you mention it, you’ve never told me anything about the Apprentice Stage. What exactly should I be doing now? Is it the same as Novice?”

He snickered, immediately answering “Kinda, but not really… Yer Dantian is much more stable now, which makes it way harder ta improve. Each level will need way more Qi ta break through. But the good news is that ya don’t gotta worry bout losin all yer cultivation so easily either. Aside from that, it’s bout the same: Strengthen yer body, fill yer Dantian till it expands, then eventually, shrink it down again. Remember this Brat… No matter what happens, don’t waste yer talent! Little Xiaotong could’ve been an Expert, but she pushed herself too hard and too fast! I would’ve died ta protect her from those Rong Clan bastards… I’d die ta protect you too, if it comes down ta it! Yer different than her though.”

“Yeah, I am… No offense, but I would definitely sacrifice you in order to stay alive. Well, mainly because you’re going to die soon anyway, so it’s not that much of a loss. If you were younger… If you still had a possibility to grow, then your life would have more value. But, if someone really did kill you, it’s not like I wouldn’t come back later and return the favor, hehehe~.” After saying that, I peeked under the fluffy white blanket that was covering my body and noticed that there was gauze all over my penis.

A few seconds later, Di whispered “Be quiet Kid, someone’s coming…”


(Unofficial Title: Unfuckable)


4 thoughts on “TDoE V1 Chapter 22: Drastic Measures

  1. Pingback: TDoE Chapter 21: Evolution | Mike777ac

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