TVG Chapter 7: Parenting Skills

Author’s Note

Okay, so I know a lot of you have been annoyed that I stopped posting The Vanilla God, but well… I only wrote it for less than a week, so what could I do?  Anyway, I’ve just had these three chapters laying in the TVG folder for 6 months or so, and I figured that I might as well post them?  I will definitely write The Vanilla God eventually… I also need to finish the first volume of “Questing”, I need to hardcore edit the first 4 volumes of “Immortal Soul”, I need to finish ‘Book 2’ of HCOP and yeah… I’m currently writing volume 3 of “The Dao of Eros” rofl.  So much stuff to do and I never seem to have enough time.



I rolled off of the beast’s body, because its fur was at least ten times hotter than the obsidian. It was only then that I noticed the screaming and crying little baby that was trying to use all of its nonexistent strength to crawl out of the cave.

After letting out a long sigh, I stood up and unsteadily walked over to Yue and picked her up with my left hand. Then I realized that her whole face and chest were horribly burned; both her hands and knees were also charred black.

At that moment, I finally realized that human babies were super weak and I needed to be a little bit more careful when raising the poor kid. However, since she was drinking my own breast milk, as I meditated and concentrated on regenerating my injured body, her own wounds were even more rapidly healed than mine.

Of course, our scars still remained from that ‘battle’; even though the lacerations and broken bones were able to recover, my left breast had been totally ripped off and the flesh underneath was burned. Yue was pretty badly disfigured as well, but I mean, it’s not like anyone was there to pick on her about it though.

It was a rough fight, but the spoils were quite substantial. Aside from having loads of tasty meat to munch on for a while, I had a nice obsidian cave to live and cultivate in; plus, I totally raised my physical strength by at least fifty bears. From one battle, I was already halfway to the eighth rank of Qi Strengthening.

Normally, cultivators would join a school and have sparring matches all the time, to rapidly improve their strength through combat. Unfortunately, that method has its limits and people usually died or hit bottlenecks because they were trying to push themselves way too hard.

My way was a bit too slow for even the ‘normal’ martial-artists to consider. I guess I’ve always been pretty casual though, and that was one of the main reasons why I was able to cure Yue’s illness.

Within the first few weeks, Yue cried and screamed a lot from the agony of living inside of that volcanic cave. However, I did ‘teach’ her to be quiet, in the same way I would have taught a tiger cub or wolf pup. Okay, before you get all judgy, keep in mind that we lived in a jungle filled with magical-beasts and if she didn’t learn, she would probably have gotten us both killed. Besides that, what I did wasn’t nearly as cruel as it sounds… I just kind of, burned her a little bit.

It wasn’t enough to cause any serious harm, I only took a piece of scalding obsidian off of the floor and poked her with it when she was noisy. At the beginning, she would just wail harder when I did that, but she figured it out relatively quickly. Seriously, people nowadays are way too afraid to discipline their children; then they wonder why their kids end up becoming evil monsters and destroying civilizations because they can’t get their way.

Ah, well maybe that’s a bit of an extreme example, but I’m way too used to Deity logic. Anyway, Yue was a smart girl: Far more intelligent than I ever was. In fact, by the time that she was three years old, she had already created her own language. It mainly consisted with various animal sounds, grunts, groans, moans, and random noises.

From the moment she was given to me, the kid was practically attached to my body. While the Moon was in the sky, I would climb up into one of the tallest trees outside our cave and soak in the Yin Qi. During the day, I would head over to the beach and sunbathe in the Yang Qi. In between the two, I would go back home and soak in the Fire Qi.

The little girl kept drinking my milk for twelve years, so my breasts stayed all puffy and squishy. My facial features were always pretty effeminate, and if I hadn’t painstakingly balanced my cultivation, I probably would have become a woman. That wasn’t a joke; I was genderless and every rank of Qi Strengthening totally revitalized and renewed my physical form.

Raising Yue was pretty easy for the most part. Like most Mortal animals, she ate, slept, defecated, and urinated regularly; once one becomes an Immortal, all of those things are basically unnecessary though.

Since I was kind of strict with her when she was really young, she never had any sort of ridiculous rebellious phase in puberty. Also, she was extremely clingy; I was literally her entire social life. She did manage to teach me how to speak in her own animal-cry language… though it took a decade.

Her Frigid Yin Constitution made it practically impossible for her to absorb Qi in such a hot and humid environment. Fortunately, because she drank my breast milk for so long, and was constantly tempering her body through exercise and meditation, the little girl eventually overcame her illness.

When Yue was twenty years old, she finally managed to reach the first rank of ‘Grrr~!’ and cleansed the impurities from her body. In other words, she vomited, had diarrhea and felt like she was going to die for three entire days. Not only that, but her skin was totally rejuvenated, removing those terrible scars that were mostly from my sketchy parenting skills.

She was the most beautiful human I had seen, which didn’t really mean much considering that until that point, it was basically just her father and those two guys that I insta-killed. I’d say that my own reflection was pretty close to her facial appearance, as far as aesthetics go; especially since I had become even more effeminate thanks to my two decades of pseudo-motherhood.

Yue was about five feet tall when she stopped growing, her muscles were rather underdeveloped, her eyes were bright-blue and her skin was pure-white. Since she had so much estrogen, it wasn’t surprising that her breasts were unnecessarily large. As far as hair goes, she always wanted to be like me, so she shaved her entire body every few days; she used the fang of a razor-tooth zebra I hunted when she was a small child.

Almost the week after she entered the world of cultivation, I also managed to break into the eighth level of Qi Strengthening. My scars from that fiery battle finally disappeared; not only that, but the signs of aging that were just starting to appear, had completely vanished.

I was young again and I had reached about two-hundred Bears of physical power. My ‘daughter’ was more like, two Wolves of strength. Her baseline was far lower than mine was, but she was also a lot more talented than me.

Once Yue had started seriously training and feeling ‘real’ results, she became addicted. It’s not like there was anything else for us to do to entertain ourselves aside from hunting, eating, and cultivating.

Even though she managed to escape the negative and crippling restraints of her Frigid Yin Constitution, that didn’t mean it had been removed. No, that sort of thing was actually a blessing of sorts, assuming that you could reach the first level of Qi Strengthening.

Unlike me, she needed to sleep for at least six to twelve hours every day, so she didn’t practice nonstop. During the day, when the sun was brightest, she would stay home and rest. At night though, that’s when the two of us would cultivate and play together.

Our main source of entertainment was beating up magical-beasts and ‘crafting’ random stuff out of their remains. We didn’t really wear ‘clothing’, because it wasn’t necessary. There were no cultural demands or requirements for us to cover ourselves, so we didn’t. Plus, it was a humid tropical island; even a simple bathing suit would have been uncomfortable in that kind of environment.

However, we did make jewelry and accessories every so often. I remembered seeing Lang Wong wearing rings, a necklace and a bracelet. There was a certain sense of ‘pride’ whenever I received an amulet or other trinket that Yue created for me; they were usually made from magical-beast bones, teeth, scales or even their crystalline Qi cores. Horse tails typically had some of the best hair for ‘string’, so we hunted them a lot.

Unfortunately, my daughter suffered from the same tragic fate as her father… She was a genius and I was merely her backstory.

Next Chapter!


11 thoughts on “TVG Chapter 7: Parenting Skills

  1. Poor MC. Forever destined to be a Haerwho. Anyway, thanks for continuing this. The MC’s genderless-ness and his weird method of cultivation makes this story interesting for me… Well, since he is genderless, you aren’t going to introduce anatomically impossible sex in this story, right? Right?!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not really sure why I’ve been so afraid of posting Author’s Notes before now, but I’m going to start doing that for important announcements regarding stuff, instead of just totally ignoring it or posting the AN in a comment lol.


  3. Pingback: Chapter 6: The First Daughter | Mike777ac

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