Chapter 183: Gearing a Crazy Cat-Girl

A monotonous feminine voice resounded throughout the room: “Welcome to the Neutral Armory. You will enter this sanctuary after every Neutral Battleground you participate in. While you are here, even if you spend an eternity browsing our wares, in your world, it would be as if merely a moment had passed. For your flawless victory over the Alexander the Decapitator’s army, you will receive additional rewards. Each kill has been calculated…”

[Points Earned

Flawless Victory: 1,000
Rank-G x 3,415: 3,415
Unranked x 37,947: 400]

“The total has been rounded up to five-thousand Neutral Favor. You may purchase gold at a rate of one coin for fifty Neutral Favor. Experience Packs are also available.” The words were very similar to the previous time that Michael, Sarah and Jasmine had entered that familiar place, yet the rewards were dramatically lower.


Arcane: 1,250
Neutral: 6,300
Light: 1,000
Darkness: 0
Chaos: 0
Nature: 0
Fire: 0
Wind: 200
Earth: 500
Water: 0]

Staring at his Favor tab, Michael muttered “Ugh, well, we’re definitely gonna have to do some more Battlegrounds after this. Hmmm, first thing’s first though… Jasmine has basically no gear, Alice has nothing but a robe, and Inari is just wearing a collar. Elina’s shit is pretty low-end as well… does she even have a single Epic? Damn, I just now realized how undergeared our party is!”

Sarah asked “Do we have enough for those fucking concealment things?” She was still satisfied with her current equipment, so she wasn’t too worried about finding upgrades after less than a week.

The Nephilim sighed, “Yeah, we do… but from what she said, it’d probably cost around six thousand, and it isn’t one of our main priorities anyway. For now, we need to focus on raising the group’s power as a whole.”

“Fine, whatever, I’m gonna go meditate while you bastards deal with that shit…” The little girl was slightly irritated, but after spending the last twenty or thirty minutes massacring people, she was actually in a fairly good mood.

Talia was ‘Identifying’ those eight vendors, and couldn’t help but wonder “Why have I never heard of this ‘Rank’? Also, how unreasonably powerful is an ‘End Boss’ exactly?”

“It is against the rules, for any beings surpassing Rank-SSS and the ‘Age’ of World Boss, to enter the atmosphere of planet Arcana. Within each ‘zone’ exists a single entity who is responsible for the maintenance and preservation of all Dungeons and Raids. However, Dungeon Masters are not allowed to exit their own territory, without the permission of a Game Master or the Creator. Information regarding the ‘Game’ is heavily suppressed and typically only Players and their Companions or Residents and Citizens are aware of many aspects of the ‘System’. The only current Player who is active on the entire planet of Arcana, is Michael C******. Game Masters and Dungeon Masters have the authority to grant knowledge of the ‘System’ upon NPCs.” A monotonous and feminine voice, automatically answered the High-Elf’s question.

She was startled for a moment, but quickly regained her composure and started to feel a strange sense of superiority after hearing that. Elina sighed, clutching the little cat-girl in her arms and preventing her from running over to ‘play’ with the giant ‘robots’.

Inari asked “Arf, bark bark, awoo~, yip~? Awoo-woo-woo~!? Ruff-arf~, arwl~!”

To which Michael responded “Oi, learn how to speak English for fuck’s sake! Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talkin about! You understand everything that I’m sayin right now! Hell, if birds can do it, a magical fox definitely could!”

The vixen shrunk down to the size of a puppy and hopped up onto his left shoulder, whimpering and rubbing her body against his neck and cheek. Finally, Talia translated “She wants to know… if it’s possible to buy some mana-cores for her, instead of equipment. Also, she’s reminding you that magical-beasts have no limits to their evolutionary capabilities. It should be possible for her to reach a much higher rank than the rest of us, at the same level.”

It was then that the Nephilim finally remembered “Holy shit, why didn’t I think of that!? Hey~, Sarah~, get over here and tell me what you wanna evolve into next!” Then he unequipped everything, but his tank-top and boxers, before petting the tiny green fox. Michael told her “Since you’re so smart, you should pick what kinda mana-cores you want too~.”

Inari purred and squirmed around in his hands, before licking those sensitive bright-blue scales. Feeling that, he twitched and complained “Oi, stop that; I ain’t a pedophile!” but obviously, the innocent kit had no idea what he was talking about.

Sarah shouted “I don’t give a fuck, just pick something for me! As long as it’s powerful, I don’t really care what I look like!” and didn’t even bother to stop ‘meditating’ a few dozen meters away.

Michael walked over to the Darkness Vendor and asked “Is it possible to buy the mana-cores of Elites and Bosses?”

“Yes; the standard price of a level-twenty rank-D mana-core is one-thousand Favor. The multiplier for Elite mana-cores two, and for Bosses, it is five. Generally, the difference in stats is also the same.” After listening to that, the Nephilim sighed dramatically and walked over to the Chaos Vendor.

He gently caressed the adorable fox and explained “I know you’re a genius, so you’ll probably understand that… we shouldn’t buy any mana-cores for now. We can only evolve once per rank after all, so if we wanna get the best results, it needs to be from Bosses or stronger. However, gear will give us a huge advantage right away, and in the future, we can always replace it for something better.” Even if she didn’t fully comprehend his argument, Inari still barked in agreement and continued to molest his palm with her tiny tongue.

After pondering for a moment, he finally decided “Give me an Epic, level-twenty grenade for the little brat over there… as well as an Epic, level-twenty pistol.”

“Hyahahaha~, good~, good~! That’ll be… uh~, like, probably two thousand gold? No, wait, I meant to say Favor! Ragh~! Stop looking at me like that, you bastard! What, you wanna fuck me?! Go on, do it, you won’t!” The Chaos golem’s programming obviously had a few glitches, but in the end, it still managed to create the two items for Jasmine.

“Adorable Revolver of Gratuitous Violence: +210 Attack Rating, +10 Agility, +8 Dexterity, +5 Vitality, +5 Endurance, -4 Perception. Can hold four .12 Caliber rounds at a time. Maximum effective range is 100 meters. Soulbound to Jasmine Jade. Epic Quality, requires level-20.” Just as the name suggested, the weapon that appeared in the little girl’s left hand, wasn’t large enough for her to even use.

“It’s so~ cute, nyah~! Hehehe~, equip~, equip~!” Once the tiny pink revolver was absorbed into her left palm, she sent her two snub-noses into her inventory. When she ‘equipped’ the mini-handgun and activated it, what appeared could just barely be wielded. Overall, it was eerily ‘normal’, and didn’t include any fleshy parts or genitalia.

Of course, the other item was completely different… In fact, rather than a weapon, what appeared was actually a glowing, bright-blue kitten. When Elina saw that adorable creature, she gasped, “Oh Goddess, no! Who would create something so cruel?!”

“Hahahahahah~, holy cunt-monkeys! It’s a fucking pussy-bomb!” Michael was always able to find the humor in every tragedy.

“Chilly Meow-Meow Exploder: +150 Attack Rating, +10 Charisma, +10 Agility, +8 Dexterity, -4 Luck. Deals Frost damage to all enemies within the blast radius of 10 meters. A new Chilly Meow-Meow Exploder will be generated inside of the owner’s body within 10 seconds of the predecessor’s demise. Can be thrown, kicked, placed as a mine, or remotely controlled and detonated. Soulbound to Jasmine Jade. Epic Quality, requires level-20.”

Alice muttered “Hmm, maybe it chooses an item that fits the personality of the buyer? Huh, I wonder what they would give me…”

Michael walked over to the silver golem, who was on the far right side, “I’d like an Epic, level-twenty pistol for the little cat-girl, please?”

“Thank you very much for your purchase, that will be one-thousand Light Favor.” Compared to the Chaos Vendor’s insanity, the Vendor of Light was much more professional.

Jasmine’s tiny pink revolver was sucked into her left hand and she casually tossed the purring kitten into Elina’s arms, before an unreasonably large, golden, semi-automatic pistol appeared in her hands. The length of that triangular barrel was six inches and the grip was too large for her to hold properly, so she needed to ‘equip’ it.

“Angelic Desert Eagle of Justice: +180 Attack Rating, +5 Strength, +5 Dexterity, +5 Perception, +3 Charisma, +2 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom, +1 Luck, +1 Willpower. Increases the damage of Light magic by 20%. Can hold seven .50 Caliber rounds at a time. Maximum effective range is 200 meters. Soulbound to Jasmine Jade. Epic Quality, requires level-20.” Unlike her ridiculously tiny revolver, which had to become larger for her to use, the golden handgun needed to shrink.

However, the problem, was that the bullets it would be using, weren’t part of the weapon. Thus, they were incapable of its transformative properties.

Instead of the pistol becoming smaller, Jasmine’s entire body grew significantly. In a few seconds, her shorts, panties, bra, and tank-top were all ripped apart and destroyed.

“Nyahahahaha~! Elly~, look~! I’m so much bigger now~!” The little girl’s entire frame had abruptly changed from three-feet, all the way to five. Of course, the Angelic Desert Eagle of Justice, still appeared quite large in her relatively small right hand.

Michael sighed dramatically, complaining “Welp, now we have ta buy you some fucking clothes! I feel like you did that on purpose…” Jasmine grinned happily, as she unequipped her pistol and jumped up onto his body.

She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pressed her disproportionately large breasts into his face, giggling happily. “Thanksies~ Mikey~! Nyah~, JJ will make sure to pew-pew lots of peoples for you~! Hehehehe~!” Thus, the greatest mass-murderer in the history of The Dwarven Republic, had vowed to continue her killing spree.

18 thoughts on “Chapter 183: Gearing a Crazy Cat-Girl

  1. Caliber is measured in inches, a .12 caliber bullet is about half the size of a .22 and is really tiny and doesn’t exist in our world, the smallest commercial caliber is .17 caliber, a decent sized revolver could theoretically hold like 20 .12 caliber rounds, I think you mean 12MM which is measured in metric, so that’d be equivalent to .50 caliber, but a tiny bit smaller. Although, I could be wrong in that there’s some round out there that has a .12 bullet with a super huge casing that could only fit 4 rounds into a revolver, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near that hand “rail-gun” when it goes off.

    Liked by 2 people

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