I just had the worst dream of my life so far. In fact, let’s call it a nightmare, because it was just too stupid for me to fully comprehend. I dreamed that I was in an episode of Supergirl. Yep, as you can imagine just from that, it was also incredibly dumb and many parts made no logical sense, yet were still terrifying and extremely uncomfortable lol.
It started in Central City, where an unlucky woman discovered that she gained one of the worst superpowers imaginable: The passive ability to call down meteors to strike her body. It also worked on buses and cars, so maybe it was a metal thing? Like Magneto, but not an active ability that she could control. It also only happened occasionally.
So of course, at first, ‘we’ were just trying to find out who was causing all that chaos and stop them. But eventually, the girl came to us herself and asked for our help! Just like every other random character in that show, this girl also had similar strength and endurance to Supergirl for no apparent reason, so even if she got hit by buses all day… It didn’t really hurt her or anything.
The main problem was that she couldn’t use telekinetic flying powers like Supergirl and she also didn’t have access to a magical spaceship that could take her far away from Earth… And of course, we couldn’t just use an actual magic spaceship like Supergirl and the Martian Manhunter do all the time. No, because the girl also had some kinda ability to make technology not work properly around her body.
I have no idea why I was there or who I was supposed to be in the show, but my suggestion was “Uh, Dumbass, just put her in one of those magical plastic bags over there and throw her ass off the planet! If she stays on Earth, the Moon might fucking land on us eventually!”
And so she took my advice, but like always, she had to fucking bring half the cast of the show with her… Including me! She put us all in some kinda giant bag, including her sister who has no superpowers except superhuman plot armor.
Then she flew us to like Jupiter or some shit, but lost the bag! It either ripped or she just let go of it out of sheer stupidity. Fortunately, the random plentoid that she dropped us off on, actually had a breathable atmosphere and was even inhabited by a bunch of kids that I remembered from grade school who somehow survived there… Though they were probably just aliens that had the power to look like people from your past, and they were the size of children.
Anyway, for whatever reason, the planetoid had atmosphere that was breathable. Yet, the worst and most agonizing part of the story started there. This stupid little ball, was spinning. That might sound normal, since a lot of objects in space rotate. However, every time it faced Jupiter, the surface gravity changed for the worst.
When it was facing away from the gas giant, the gravity felt higher than Earth. But when it started facing toward the planet, the gravity kept getting lower until you actually had to hold onto sometime in order to keep from floating away into the abyss!
This rotation happened about once per half-hour, so you could feel it constantly. It was like a horrible roller coaster ride in slow-motion, that went on for what felt like a few weeks. Until the Martian asshole finally picked us up with his magic spaceship/car!
I was so relieved after getting onboard that I actually woke up from the dream and then started to dream about watching a rerun of Family Guy with that same girl who caused meteors to fly towards her body. Of course, this time she was just a normal human and we were just normally in a fucking space station! God damn it!
I was so angry and uncomfortable by the feeling of weightlessness which is caused by essentially, falling towards the Earth, that I forced myself to wake up out of that second nightmare!
I actually had to write this in Google Docs because I was afraid I might mess something up or get distracted and then forget everything. So yeah, the worst dream of my life was an episode of Supergirl that lasted several weeks and made no logical sense… As always in that show.