Chapter 243: Drama Before the BG

“Okay~, you guys should stop freaking out now; you’re scaring and-or annoying Rachael with all the drama. Besides, it ain’t like she’s gonna remember any of this… Even if she does, so what? I’ve been watching all kinds of fucked up shit since I was like five or six, and I turned out fine. Anyway, the noodles look done and the weird tentacle-monster calamari should be finished by now as well. Oi, Sarah, get your ass back here and eat with us!” Michael completely disregarded all the nonsense that had just happened, and somehow managed to convince the angry little girl to return to the kitchen telepathically.

The table had room for at least ten normal-sized chairs, but only six of them had come with the Arcane set. Thus, he pulled a Demonic Basilisk’s mana-core out of his inventory and used it to purchase a huge, bronze throne. It took up almost the entire northern side of the relatively wide table, but he didn’t stop there. After that, he bought an obsidian chair for the little Death-Elf, which replaced the one on the western end; Elina’s was golden, with fluffy-white cushions and placed across from her nemesis.

To the south, there was a squirming and writhing mess of tentacles for Jasmine to ‘sit’ on, completely naked: She was actually placed next to Sarah. His seat was between the crazy cat-girl and Talia, though the Huntress and Nephilim were fine with the ‘normal’ crystalline furniture.

Inari rarely ate in the kitchen anyway, so she didn’t ‘ask’ for a special chair. She did however, sit on Michael’s lap and unconsciously grind against his boxers the entire time. As he struggled to eat off of a plate of spaghetti that was telekinetically floating above her head, he grumbled “Ugh, isn’t there some way to turn off the goddamn ‘JB-Barrier’ notifications?” It didn’t help that she weighed nearly two-hundred pounds, and she refused to enter into her ‘vixen’ form.

Alice’s huge serpentine tail reached underneath the relatively wide table and entered into the Nephilim’s underwear. He sighed, “Seriously Ally, we just spent the last three days doing nothing but fucking… Can you at least wait until after we finish eating to jerk me off with your tail?” Talia stared at the little fox-girl who was shoving her face into the spaghetti, while making obscene grunting, slurping and whining noises the entire time.

Sarah suddenly said “I ain’t goin to the BG… Mike, I know I’ve bitched about how boring meditation and training is, but the past few weeks have been really fucking exhausting. I’m probably not the only one feeling burnt out either. Honestly, the main reason I was so damn impatient and frantic was cause I was about ta turn twelve. If I had been born a Human, I’d probably still be considered a kid, but I wasn’t. Goblins only have between ten and fifteen… after that, they go from Adult to Elder; they lose their ability to reproduce and five years later, they die of old age!

“My goal before meeting you was pretty depressing… I just wanted ta evolve in ta somethin that could live for a bit longer. Assuming that I succeeded and didn’t die like a dumbass, I would’ve tried ta get revenge for Mama. Course, I didn’t know she was actually a Goddess, or I wouldn’t have even given a shit! Seriously, what the fuck is up with that?! Ugh, anyway, now that I don’t need ta worry bout dyin, there’s no real point in constantly killing people ta live longer.”

Talia interjected “Miguel, you do know that it is possible to gain experience through training, correct? It is a method typically only feasible for long-lived Races, for it often requires years to make an improvement of a single level. That is how I had managed to reach the state I was in when we met… the second time?”

Michael snickered, “Yeah, I gotcha, but I don’t have that kinda patience. I mean, I love writing, reading, watching T.V. shows, movies, anime, playing video-games and music… There are lots of things that I enjoy doing; quiet meditation is definitely not on the list. Sarah, if ya wanna play around with Necromancy or whatever, go ahead, have ‘fun’. Alice, if ya wanna spend days at a time, doing nothing but making and using weird-ass magical-drugs, that’s probably not a good thing, but I love you and want you to do what makes you happy.

“Elina, if you wanna give up on Enchanting, I understand, cause you don’t really seem very good at it; also, you’re most likely going to be Rachael’s ‘main-mama’, so you probably won’t have time to do anything but take care of her anyway. Inari, are you in heat? You just became an Adolescent a few days ago… If you’re really that horny, there are tons of Chaotic tentacles and ‘sex-toys’ in my bedroom; feel free to use them.”

Alice snickered, “I hope you finished your long-ass speech, cause the BG’s gonna start in a few seconds. It’s time to go…”

Hearing that, the little Lamia who was devouring the spaghetti on Elina’s plate, suddenly started. Rachael gazed up into her mother’s familiar serpentine eyes and frowned, then she gazed over at Michael.

He smirked, telekinetically pulling his baby across the table and catching her in the palm of his right hand. She slithered up his arm swiftly and crawled onto his face, hugging it tightly, afraid that he was going to leave her.

If she had been a Human newborn, she probably wouldn’t have been able to even move around on her own or stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time; however, her physical capabilities were already similar to an extremely athletic Adult.

Inari transformed into a brown-skinned and scaled Lamia, with fox-ears on the top of her head. Then she barked at Rachael and pulling her off of her father’s face. Michael snickered, caressing the extremely short black hair on his daughter’s head and then gently kissing the vixen’s lips.

“I love you I.S.E.J.A.T.R…That’s short for all of your names by the way. Okay, fuck the acronym, you get the goddamn point! Hasta Luego~!” The moment he finished speaking, both the Nephilim and dragoness vanished.

A few seconds passed, before Rachael started wailing in a high-pitched and incredibly loud voice. Jasmine yelled “Stop it nyah~! Wah~! Lina~, make her stop~! Meow-ow-ow-ow-ow~!”

Sarah screamed “Shut the fuck up!” and both of them instantly became silent. For the kitten, it was because there was a fist shoved down her throat, but the baby was being breast fed by the Lamia-form fox-girl.

Talia sighed, muttering “Oh, really, why thank you very much for the compliment… I am so glad that you all appreciated my splendid cooking. Ugh, me importa una mierda más; Yo sólo voy a tomar un baño e ir a dormir.”



“That was cute… pretending like they’re gonna just somehow live out a normalish slice-of-life comedy-drama. Kinda harsh though, don’t ya think?” Michael was floating in a pitch-black space, the only light was coming from his own glowing armor. He glanced around, but couldn’t find the source of that ‘voice’ in his mind.

The Nephilim asked “Is it really that time already? Seems kinda rushed…” A few seconds passed before two glowing crimson, serpentine eyes appeared in front of him.

“No, you’ve still got like, seven days, so make the most of it. By that, I mean, get some goddamn rest, cause you’re gonna need it. Things are definitely gonna be a tinsy bit hectic afterwards. Well, I can’t really give any other clues than that, so just… cherish your daughter, nurture your fancy chicken egg, and love your family. Well, don’t freak out too much though; it ain’t like you’ll never see them again, and I never said that you’d be leavin your harem behind. You’ll figure it out soon enough; it isn’t that complicated, so stop overthinking things and enjoy yourself.” After that ominous piece of advice, there was loud explosion, which woke Michael up from the momentary black-out.

He looked around and noticed that he was back on those familiar ramparts and cannons were firing all around him. Alice patted his left shoulder, while pointing towards the stone castle and golems in the distance. “We should go over there and wipe out those assholes, or they’ll just keep attacking this place constantly… Also, I doubt that we’ll get much Favor for massacring these weaklings and we’re running out of time.” As she was speaking, two wasp-like, bright-orange wings erupted from behind her shoulder-blades.

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