“The Long Dong Virus: A level-forty strand of demonic herpes which is extraordinarily contagious through air, water, food, bodily fluids, and skin-contact. Able to infect humanoids, magical-beasts and even undead. Causes the infected to mutate and potentially become Chaotic, while increasing their level and rank dramatically. Symptoms include: Spontaneous Intestinal Combustion, Slime-Body Syndrome, Vampirism, Impotence, Narcolepsy, Rapid Aging, Hellfire Addiction, Acidic Mucosal Discharge, Magma-Blood Syndrome, Explosive Diarrhea and Shapelessness.”
“Fine~, I’ll put the biological weapon of mass destruction away~… Well, I probably shouldn’t try to sell something like this anyway. It’s a shame though, ugh, Alice wasted the mana-core of a rank-C World Boss to make this, ya know? Sure~, it was a failure, but still, I figured it’d be worth ‘something’ to someone like you.” Michael quickly put the small vial of glowing crimson liquid back into his bag and let out a long sigh.
Darius complained “I’m a Crimelord, not a Demon Lord! Besides, if that’s a failure, then what the hell is she trying to create? Actually, no, don’t tell me! It’s better if I have no part in whatever you’re planning to do…” He had a serious expression as he pleaded “Listen, I know I’m not exactly a ‘good-guy’, but still, I definitely don’t want anything to happen to ‘my’ city. If the lot of you didn’t intervene, I was going to head to Fort Resilience myself, along with my own private army. Please don’t try to sell that or anything else like it; I don’t even know why you would need to. If you’ve got anymore ‘drugs’ left, I’m willing to purchase them, but I don’t deal in ‘those’ kinds of weapons.”
The Nephilim suddenly asked “Hmm~, wait, are you the Mayor of Nekoshire?”
After laughing hysterically for a few seconds, the Shinobi shook his head and revealed “Do you see this face? Who would vote for someone like me? My sister is the Chief of Police, but the Mayor was an asshole named Roy Rogers… Well, he isn’t in office anymore, hehe~. There’s an election coming up next month, but for now, that old bastard Captain Kurosawa Shiro is in charge of things. So, enough about politics; show me the rest of your ‘merchandise’.”
Michael snickered, muttering “Okay~ then, let’s see~… Hmm, there’s this weird jar of green gelatin, a box filled with magical candy that can make you smarter, a bag of sugar cookies that my wife made, and a couple ‘Insta-Boss’ cranial injections. By the way, the ‘sugar’ is from the ground up bones of angels… Yeah, I know, right? Well, it ‘tastes’ sweet, but it can also help with training Light or Darkness Affinity. This is pretty much everything that I have on me though, since you aren’t interested in dubious bio-weapons.”
Darius grinned happily as he stored everything into his crimson ring, and tossed over another five white jade coins. Then he asked “What are your plans now? I own this hotel, if you’re looking for a place to stay the night… Since you teleported in, you probably wouldn’t know this, but there’s a casino on the lower floors and a mall across the street. Actually, I might have a few ‘jobs’ if you’re interested? It isn’t anything that you haven’t already done, heh-heh~.”
“Nyah~, Mikey~, what happened? Un~, why are we in Darry’s house? Meow~, I’m so~ thirsty~!” The moment Jasmine started to wake up, she stretched her tiny body out on Michael’s lap and sniffed the air.
The Crimelord was smiling wryly as he gazed at the adorable cat-girl, “JJ, I’m happy to see that you’ve been doing so well recently… Perhaps now, you can afford to repay your debts?”
She giggled, nuzzling her head against the Nephilim’s t-shirt and saying “Don’t wanna~! Nyah~, acting is boring~! Shooting peoples for real is way~ funner! Hehehe~, unless the movie has Mikey in it!”
Michael suddenly glared at the Dark-Elf, channeling mana into his voice and interrogating “Have you ever tried to trick JJ into having sex with you?” It was a fairly powerful ‘Enthrall’ spell, so it would force him to tell the truth, even if he didn’t want to.
Darius frowned, admitting “Ew, no, that’s gross… I prefer tall, burly, hairy men, especially Orcs, but lately I’ve been dating a nice Hobgoblin boy.” After a few seconds, he came out of that dazed state and yelled “Hey, don’t do that! Damn it, how the hell did you even do that in the first place?! You’re only level thirty!”
Once he calmed down a bit, he sighed and explained “Not everything I do is ‘illegal’, that’d be ridiculous. I own a few hotels, a couple restaurant franchises, some companies, and a talent agency that helps people like Jasmine Jade, find ‘legitimate’ and ‘safe’ acting jobs. She has done voice-acting for a few hentai videos, though she typically does commercials and regular anime. There was a pretty big-time movie she did in her ‘earlier’ years, but lately she was going to retire… because she was dying. I suggested that she should try and put herself into a position where she would be forced to be controlled by Chaos, like going to a battlefield. Since her problems started with that, and she was going to die anyway, I figured that ‘embracing’ the Goddess might be the best way to ‘fix’ the disease.”
The Nephilim interjected “Wait a second, did you really come up with that idea yourself, or did someone tell you that?”
Darius began his extremely long story: “Ah, well, I actually did hear it from… a friend. She’s kind of a fortune teller of sorts, but she’s usually pretty accurate in her predictions, so I wasn’t very surprised when everything worked out in the end. Back to what I was saying… There were a few times where JJ did a bit of ‘modeling’, but that was before she started mutilating herself. I’m not sure if she told you this or not, maybe she doesn’t even remember it anymore; back when that whole catastrophe happened, she had been captured by a rival organization of mine…
“They wanted her father to kill me, but he couldn’t for various reasons, so they tortured the hell out of the poor brat. My ‘fortune teller’ said that the whole thing was some kinda weird demonic ritual or whatever. Once the kid went insane, they were able to complete the ceremony and form a connection between Jasmine and Chaos or something like that. She was possessed and given a ridiculous amount of power, but she wasn’t able to heal naturally from those terrible scars and wounds.
“Obviously, the medical, magical and alchemical treatments were extraordinarily expensive… I payed for them all. After that, she looked as cute and adorable as she does now, or at least she wasn’t horribly deformed or disabled anymore. Unfortunately, during one of her mental breakdowns, she cut off her own tail and started eating it. There were quite a few occasions where she would go out during the ‘night’ and I would have to spend a decent amount of money to cover up the dismembered corpses my people would find. Then there was the time she accidentally burned down that school filled with children and teachers, or when she set bombs all over the city and pretended to be some kind of supervillain. Ironically, by going around and stopping her from committing outrageous acts of insane terrorism, I started to get treated like a ‘superhero’. They called me ‘Ninja-Elf’… Anyway, the point is that I’ve literally spent millions of gold on this fucking psychotic lunatic!”
Michael started laughing hysterically, asking “What kinda ‘job’ did you need me to do? I don’t really have time to shoot a ‘normal’ movie, but I bet a porno with me using Jasmine as a pocket-pussy would probably be worth a lot. I doubt that you need me to kill someone for you, since you’re a goddamn assassin and like twenty levels higher than me. Hmm~, nope, I can’t really think of anything else at the moment, so just tell me what the hell you want?”
Darius turned his head towards the window and stared out at a huge skyscraper that was under construction. There were giant cranes and Earth Mages, along with hundreds of regular Feline Dwarves, working together to build the giant metal structure.
Then he looked behind that, at the massive stone temple in the distance; it was the ancient ‘Nexus’, which contained nine Great Gateways. He finally answered “I want property… In your town, Luxiana, I’ve seen you instantly fabricate hundreds of houses there. You’re a ‘Player’, so you have certain ‘perks’ that I would like to make use of… Money is power, and with very little, you were able to do so much; I was truly amazed by that display and couldn’t help but think of how wonderful it would be, if I could control that sort of ability for myself. Give me a few square miles of land near Luxiana, then help me construct a city there. With that, I’ll consider all of Jasmine’s gambling debts repaid…”
“Nyah~, I’m bored~! Mikey~, let’s go play~! Ou, ou~! Lookie~! There’s a ferris wheel~! JJ want’s to ride on the rollercoaster! Meow~, and, and the pirate-ship! Oh~, I wanna go to the petting zoo~!” The little girl was excitedly jumping around near the window and banging on the bulletproof magically enchanted glass.
After a few seconds passed, Michael grumbled “Yeah, sure, I’ll build the damn city for you… Come over next week. For now though, I have to play with my tiny pussy, or she’ll end up going on another homicidal rampage. Hell, if she caused all that chaos when she was level-three, then… gambling debts? Was all that shit about superheroes and supervillains a lie?”