Chapter 259: The Infamous Duo

“No, it was true, but she already paid back the millions I spent on her a long time ago. I receive the royalties for all of those advertisements, and every single acting job she’s ever had. Hell, she even sold me the rights to her ‘likeness’, which was used in a T.V. series about her life. Then there were the videogames, movies, and all the modeling… I still pay her enough to be considered ‘wealthy’ in Nekoshire, but most of her money is spent on expensive alcohol, food, child support, and gambling.” Darius was obviously fairly irritated, as he explained the ridiculous situation.

However, Michael immediately asked “Dafuck, she has kids? How is that even possible?”

“Nyah~, I have fifty-nine babies! But, but Darry said that I wasn’t allowed to keep them, once my brainbox started acting weird…” Jasmine seemed extremely distressed about being separated from her children.

The Crimelord sighed, grumbling “Cats… they’re fucking cats. Not even magical-beasts, but just regular stray cats that she found wandering around the city. I literally have to pay people to take care of them for her… Whenever she was around the fluffy bastards, she’d start acting like she was one of them.”

Michael snickered, “Well, kittens are adorable, so go gather up all of Jasmine’s ‘babies’ and bring them to her old house… Actually, that’s one of the main reasons we came to Nekoshire: We’re here to pack-up all her shit and bring it home.”

Jasmine jumped onto the Nephilim’s lap and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, excitedly yelling “Mikey~, I don’t wanna leave yet~! Let’s go play~! I wanna go to the game-store first~! I’ve been away from home for so long, I bet there’s tons of stuff that came out! Nyah~, and, and I need to go to the book-store~… Un~, we should go to the aquarium too. Oh, oh~! Have you ever rode a motorcycle before?! Let’s go~, I wanna show you my super-amazing Nyan-Master 5000!”

That tiny girl suddenly grew nearly two feet taller and removed her ‘bra’ so that her massive breasts would fill-out her thin pink bellyshirt. After that, he stood-up while she was sitting on his hands and began rapidly shrinking, until he was in his ‘shota-form’.

She giggled, pressing her mouth against the little boy’s and Darius gagged, complaining “Okay, can the two of you ‘kids’ please get the hell out of my office now? I’ll send the damn cats to your house… I guess I’ll head over to Luxiana next week.”

After that, the two pseudo-dwarves vanished from the room and reappeared on the top of a ferris wheel on the other side of town. The two of them were sitting across from three teenage cat-girls, who started screaming in terror. Michael didn’t stop kissing Jasmine and ignored the annoying brats.

Once they had gotten over the initial shock, the one with bright-red hair pulled out her cell phone and started taking a video of them. “Hey, like, doesn’t he look super-similar to that boy? The one who was in the news earlier… He was with JJ!” It didn’t take long for the girl to the far left to recognize the mini-Nephilim. However, once they finished ‘tongue-wrestling’, they teleported again.


Michael and Jasmine rode a few roller coasters, swam with sharks in the aquarium, pet some adorable tigers in the zoo, and went to the mall. They ate at least ten pounds of delicious sushi, but it wasn’t very filling; a single meal for two had cost them nearly two-hundred gold.

Then they stopped by a ‘game-store’, which sold everything from consoles and ‘PCs’, to collectable cards, board and video games. However, there was nothing as advanced as virtual-reality systems.

“Nyah~, ‘Dark Ranger 7’ finally came out! Oh, sweet~, Mikey~, look, look~! Get this for me~! I’ve always wanted an Arcana-Sphere, but I never had enough money for some reason…” She pulled a small box off of the shelf and handed it to her boyfriend.

After sighing dramatically, he muttered “Probably because you spend all of your money on stupid shit… Ugh, I mean seriously, this thing costs like a thousand gold. This little gaming console is basically worth as much as Sarah’s whole absurdly large room. There’s literally a couple dozen castles in there, and plenty of other weird shit… Well, whatever, I did make seven white jade from selling four of your crappy guns, so one-k seems so insignificant now.”

Of course, once she picked out twenty ‘new’ video-games to go along with her new Arcana-Sphere, they ended up spending two-thousand gold. Michael attempted to ‘steal’ some things, but the ‘System’ prevented him from sending anything into his bags that didn’t ‘belong’ to him. Even if he killed the manager, it wouldn’t have changed anything, because the store was ‘owned’ by a large company. There were Classes like ‘Thieves’ who could get around those ‘rules’, using certain spells and skills, but most had to follow them.

Next on their list was a ‘Toy-Store’, for adults, where they purchased all kinds of strange and interesting ‘devices’. Some of them made the Nephilim wonder “How the fucking fuck could something like this even fit inside of a Dwarf?!” Thus, another thousand gold was swiftly spent on items that were strictly designed for ‘entertainment’.

Jasmine wasn’t very musically talented, actually, she was certainly tone deaf and had no comprehension of rhythm at all. However, the large-breasted ‘nekomimi’ still dragged Michael to a shop that sold nothing but instruments. There were acoustic and electric guitars, keyboards, pianos, violins, drums and even speakers, microphones and other technology. Unfortunately, many of the magical devices were ‘sealed’ so that only Dwarves could use them.

However, when he seemed dejected, his ‘girlfriend’ whispered “This is a secret nyah~, but I have an ‘Unsealer’ in my basement… They’re super-illegal, but Darry gave me one as a birthday gift.”

Many of the instruments were made specifically for Dwarves, but the size of the keys, frets, and other important parts weren’t actually that different. There were some that were too small for Michael to play in his ‘normal’ form, but as long as he used ‘Luxian Innocence’, it didn’t matter too much.

He didn’t bother purchasing outrageously expensive pianos, though he did find a pretty nice keyboard for five-hundred gold. Aside from that, he picked out a viola, fiddle, violin, saxophone, bagpipes, a myriad of guitars, basses, a huge drum-set, ukuleles, banjos, and just about everything else that caught his interest.

Finally, he had to stop himself, because if he had kept going, he would have ran out of room in his inventory. As they left, he grumbled “I can’t believe I just spent three fucking white jade…”

Jasmine suddenly suggested “Un~, I used to be terribad at gambling, but with the two of us together… Nyahahaha~, who could possibly beat the great and powerful JJ and Mikey duo?! Hehehe~, is there even another person in this city who could come close to our crazy-OP Luck? Hmph~, they wouldn’t be able to kick us out either! Let’s go~!”

Michael snickered, hugging the busty cat-girl in ‘booty-shorts’ from behind and teleporting onto the roof of a place called the ‘Luxia Casino’. The top thirty floors were hotel rooms, but the first ten were strictly gambling halls, bars and a few concert halls. The Nephilim ‘Astral-Leaped’ the two of them into an empty elevator on the fourth floor, which was far less conspicuous than entering directly into the middle of a room full of people.

As they walked out, there were all kinds of noises, talking, yelling, and other sounds. They found slot machines that were right next to each other and swiftly sat down. “Nyah~, lookie~, just put the gold in this hole and then pull the lever thingy~!”

“JJ, this isn’t my first time in a casino, hehe~; anyway, let’s see what thirty, oh wait, I’ll take my glowy marbles out and make it thirty-seven Luck… I wonder what’ll happen?” Michael placed a single coin into the slot and telekinetically pulled the lever.

The three wheels behind the glass spun around rapidly, while the machine made loud and annoying sounds, before finally stopping on what appeared to be the faces of purple cartoon kittens. “Meow~ meow~, jackpot~ nyan~!” There was a ridiculously obnoxious announcement, as three white jade doubloons fell into the metal bucket.

At the same time, Jasmine’s slot-machine hit the jackpot and she won the same exact amount as him. It wasn’t ‘technically’ cheating, but they were obviously drawing plenty of attention.

As soon as the two of them retrieved their winnings, they vanished and reappeared in a casino on the other side of town. They didn’t always hit the jackpot with a single try, but the amount of money they ‘earned’ was simply outrageous.

Unfortunately, in less than an hour, they managed to make it onto ‘Neko-News’: “Nyah~! There they are! This duo of teleporting thieves have managed to steal nearly a million gold so far! They use their absurdly high Luck to play a few slot games and have such a high success-rate, that the Nekoshire Gambling Association has officially banned them from all casinos. However, it’s simply impossible to stop them, since they’re able to instantly enter and leave before the security even realizes that they’re there! Meow~, there they go! This has been Fujisawa Keiko, reporting from the Black Cat Casino!”


21 thoughts on “Chapter 259: The Infamous Duo

  1. Lol they should put as top 3 “jackpots” some random peluches and gadjets so that peoples like them would just win them instead of the real ones registered as 4th 5th etc positions.. :3
    Hopefully their luck would make them win the “top prizes” instead of the more valuable ones wouldn t it?
    Not totally sure about it because luck is relative so you will feel luckier if you get the peluche you wanted instead of the one that s top-rated.. But there it s a stat and i don t think monsters would drop more likely lower rewards if they just wanted it to happen and so “feel luckier” getting them O.o

    Liked by 2 people

    • It is rape if you drug and torture a person until their minds are broken and they ‘submit’ to having sex. It’s also always rape when you have sex with a slave. That’s like saying the Roman Empire was better than The Huns, but they were both shitty and evil lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Come on you can’t count them as thieves lol. They just incredibly lucky and can’t really lose in luck based games. It’s not their fault that the casinos didn’t secretly rig the luck based games to prevent people with such high luck just winning constantly like that.

    Liked by 3 people

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