TDoE V3 Chapter 2: Alcohol

“My bother hash therity sex wives~! An, en, an~ he calls ‘me’ a whore?! Fucks that bastards! Ugn~, Barkeep! More wine~! Now~!”

Mei was totally wasted. Yes, you guessed it… Like all ports, there were plenty of pubs and inns. We were in a cozy little cesspool called ‘The Rusty Nail’. No, it wasn’t named after the cocktail. Hell, they didn’t even have any whisky or Drambuie in the first place!

Anyway, it was a small bar in the scummier part of town. Most of the patrons were sailors or soldiers, so there were a few familiar faces. In the corner of the room, Liara was literally getting fucked in the ass by a scrawny dude and sucking some beefy guy’s dick. Although it seemed like she didn’t care who she had sex with, she actually had some pretty strict standards. First of all, every man that I had watched her screw since we got there was fairly attractive. A few fatties tried to join in on the fun, but she punched them in their dicks and probably crippled the poor losers for life. Any Novice who was brave enough to approach her, was nearly killed by her aggressive ‘Yang’ Qi. Also, I’m not totally sure how she sensed it so easily, but if someone with an STD even got close to her, she would kick them in the face without mercy.

It’s not like Liara and her ‘toys’ were the only ones doing it in the pub. That place was practically a brothel. For better tips, the waitresses and waiters were willing to give blowjobs, eat a pussy, and occasionally have unprotected intercourse. Fortunately, Mei and I were sitting at the bar, so we were pretty far away from all that nonsense.

Did I mention that there were strippers? Yeah, there were no metal poles, but there was a small stage at the back of the room. Even considering that I woke up in a puddle of piss today, I still felt grossed out being in such a nasty place. My obsessive compulsive disorder was starting to kick in a little bit, but I managed to suppress the urge to leave, since my ‘girlfriend’ wanted to keep poisoning herself.

“Little Bro, he, *hic*, he’s such a s-stupid bastards! King… Heheheheyahaha~! Peoples call him, King Cun-Cunt! Kings Cunt! Fucking Cunt! He-he has thirty-sex wives! Four ove them is, are my younger sisters! One uh them’s my nieve, nice, niece! Shit, words are hard… Hahaha~!”

They didn’t have any problem serving alcohol to minors, but I wasn’t a fan of losing my ability to have coherent thoughts. Especially since Mei was a total mess. Also, from what she told me about her siblings, I was seriously starting to get worried about our safety. It was a good thing that we chose such a crappy pub, or things could have gotten pretty sketchy.

Rather than reciting her drunken ramblings, I’ll just give you a brief summary of her two-hour long story about her past. They were from a branch of the Hua Family, called ‘Ri’. Essentially, their surname was Hua Ri… In case you were wondering, yes, some people had their surnames first and given names last, while others were like me. It all depended on the culture of the individual island, not to mention other countries and continents.

Her brother was a megalomaniac and an overall piece of shit. He was only a level-one Adept and with his Innate Talent, it was practically impossible for him to keep from falling into the Apprentice Stage unless he constantly leeched off of his wives. One of them was a level-seven Adept, while the others were mostly Apprentices. There were also a few Novices, but he just picked them for ‘decoration’. Yes, unsurprisingly, he treated women as toys, dolls and tools, depending on the circumstances. The only ones who had it a little better were his younger sisters and his daughter. Although he still practically forced them to marry him.

The douchebag was named Hua Ri Ku, but people really did call him the Cunt King. He was a tyrannical lunatic who occasionally went ‘shopping’ for new wives in the city. If he saw a beautiful woman or girl, he would either ‘buy’ them from their parents or simply snatch them off the street. After he had his fun, the girls would usually have a few gold coins to live off of for a while. At least, until they were arrested for some erroneous charge and thrown into a secret dungeon.

From what Mei told me, he believe that once he had sex with a woman, they were basically his property. He didn’t want anyone else to ‘steal’ what he had already claimed, so he would keep them in a cell somewhere in the palace, where he could play with them whenever he wanted.

In case you were wondering, the reason I’m saying all of this is because I’m trying to give you a better understanding of how horrible of a person Hua Ri Ku was. I’m sure that he was responsible for much worse shit than what little information I received from his wasted older sister.

As for the reason why I was starting to get worried about our safety, that was because of the fact that the two of them didn’t have a very good relationship. Since Mei wasn’t a virgin, he wasn’t interested in ‘owning’ her, but she was definitely a threat to his position. If she really wanted to, it wouldn’t have been difficult for her to rally the citizens and start a coup… Get it?

Never mind, the point is that he already warned her that if she ever stepped foot inside of Hua Ri Keep again, he would have her publically gangraped and flogged to death. Yes, not simply beheaded, but gangraped and motherfucking ‘flogged’… It’s kind of like whipping or caning.

“Little~ Levi~… I, I think I has to pee… Help me, help me take this shtubit shits off!”

Her tits were already slipping out as it was, but once she spread her legs and pulled the long sides of that dress upwards, everyone around us had a clear view of her furry pussy.

Some random fat-ass Novice to my left yelled “Oy, Lad, I’ll give ya five coppers fer one round wit yer mama! Hahaha~!”

I sighed dramatically, as more drunken old men started crowding around Mei and I. However, before I even needed to say anything, she started pissing all over the place. Most of the guys fucked off, but there were a few who were too wasted to give a damn.

She suddenly jumped up onto the bar and pulled out her fancy black shark-sword, yelling “Get aways from me, peasants! I-I’m the rightful Queen-urp, uh Huari Keeps! I’ll, ugh, I’ll-” However, halfway through her speech, she started vomiting on the men that were closest to her.

“Hey, get the fuck down from there, ya crazy bitch! Agh~! My arm, you cut off my arm~!”

Once she dismembered the bartender, I decided that it was time for us to leave. I leaped up onto the counter and grabbed Mei by the waist. As I struggled to carry her out of the building, she kept wailing like a child, while hacking and slashing at anyone foolish enough to approach us.

When I put her down, I smacked her left cheek and shouted “Calm down! Stop freaking out! We’re going back to the ship!”

“No! I don’t wanna~! Not going~! Urp, ugh, I-I don’t wanna go backs to the shit!” After wobbling back and forth for a few seconds, she used her cutlass as a support to keep herself from falling over. Then she looked up at the giant blue palace in the distance and screamed “Fuck you! King Cunt’s a dirty, bastard! He-he, he really is’ a bastard! Muh, Mommy cheat-cheated on Daddy with, with Uncle Jojo and, got you! Hahahaha~! Do you hear that?! Fuck-fuck you! Yer not, not even the rightful king! I, I should be the ruler of, of this shithole!”

I grabbed her left arm and grumbled “Seriously Mei, this isn’t funny. That’s the kind of stuff that people get executed for talking about, ya know? Even if your brother is a piece of garbage, what exactly can you do about it?! Go over there and chop his head off?” I really shouldn’t have said that last part.

She started roaring “Rah~! Death to-to the Cunt Kings!” and ‘trying’ to run towards that keep in the distance. However, it was the middle of the day and there were a decent amount of people scattered all over the place. Also, she was way too drunk to be sprinting anywhere. Within a few seconds, she fell down and scraped her knee on the cobblestone pavement. Her dress ripped open and her face smacked into the ground, as she passed out.

Although she didn’t make it very far, her little display was still seen by at least a thousand random bystanders. If she ever did become ‘Queen’ someday, I’m sure that her subjects would always remember that one day when they saw her tits and ass. I quickly walked over and knelt down next to Mei, muttering “Damn it, you’re way too old to be doing this kinda shit… From now on, you aren’t allowed to get near alcohol.”

After I sheathed the cutlass that she was clenching in her right hand, I lifted Mei up pretty easily. She was a bit bigger than me, but still fairly small. At the most, she weighed a hundred and twenty pounds, including the sword.

I could hear people gossiping about what they had just seen and heard, though practically everyone was in the Novice Stage. Most were barely even cultivators at all. We were by the docks, so there were a lot of fishermen, laborers, merchants and prostitutes wandering about. Well, while I think it’s simpler just to call them whores, their ‘official’ jobs were: masseuse, dancer, bath attendant, or private hostess. There weren’t many male ‘escorts’, because any horny women could just enter a bar and find plenty of idiots who would be willing to do it for free.

*Author’s Note*

I’ve never actually been drunk before in my entire life. In fact, if I drink even a few sips of most alcohols, I get sick. Considering that, I think I did a pretty good job writing Drunk Mei lmfao.


6 thoughts on “TDoE V3 Chapter 2: Alcohol

  1. Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. She’ll probably only remember bits and pieces, and feel really tired and wore out when she wakes up. Hangover? Maybe, maybe not. Really depends on the person. Oh, and she’ll be thirsty as hell, all the alcohol will dehydrate you badly.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: TDoE V3 Chapter 1: Lunar Law | Mike777ac

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