Chapter 59: Three-Way

Within an enormous jungle filled with bio-luminescent plants, an excited howl rang out, along with a myriad of gunshots. “Nyahahaha~, die~, die for me~ Foxy~!” A high-pitched, child-like voice was screaming amidst the explosions.

“You little fucking cunt! Ow~! Bitch, I’ll cut your clit off!” Three small and feminine figures were jumping, running and flying through the thick trees. One of them was wearing ebony leather and thin black fabric. Her face was covered by an obsidian skull-mask and only her long, pointed elven ears were exposed. The back of her head had six shadowy tendrils that were thicker than her tiny arms and nearly twice the length of her entire body. There was also a strange, armored, worm-like tail that whipped around and occasionally grabbed hold of branches, in order to propel her forward.

The second was a brown-skinned fox-girl, wearing a blood-stained and torn apart white hooded-cloak. It appeared similar to a buttoned up shirt, with frayed sleeves and an unreasonable amount of cleavage. Those rather large breasts easily popped out of the top every time she pressed her foot against the ground and leaped up into the air. Her seven fluffy green tails had shiny golden tips and whipped around constantly. With a casual swipe, she swiftly snapped a large tree in half, picked it up, and threw it without even using her hands. Inari didn’t seem to care that her buttocks and groin were totally exposed the entire time.

“Nyah~?! Watch where you’re throwing things meow~!” That third figure was obviously Jasmine. Her bosom was completely compressed into nothingness, since she was wearing and using ‘all’ of her gear. That pink belly shirt barely covered anything and the belt around her waist had her two pistols holstered onto it; one was a tiny pink revolver and the other was a giant golden desert eagle. Then there were those obnoxiously vulgar booty-shorts, which accentuated her round and bouncing buttocks. There was a heart-shaped hole in the back, so that her cat-like black tail could fit outside comfortably. Aside from that, she also had those sneakers, which allowed her to propel herself through the air with powerful rocket propulsion.

One piece of equipment was something that she wasn’t qualified to wear ‘normally’, because of the level restrictions. However, inside of that conjoined ‘Soul Realm’, there were no limitations at all. Sarah appeared behind the kitten and reached out with her left hand, stabbing a serpentine dagger past her fluffy left ear.

Jasmine yelped and swiftly blasted off of the ground, soaring forward and diving through a bush, before turning around. Her mouth and nose were covered by something that eerily resembled Human female genitalia. There was no pubic hair, but those ‘lips’ opened up in order to allow the cat-girl to yell “Meanie~! You almost poked me~! Nyah~! JJ Barrage~!”

She held up the golden submachine gun in her hands, aimed it and fired off a slew of seven silver bullets in a row. Each one of them whizzed through the air faster than the speed of sound, and exploded into blinding balls of light as they struck Sarah’s chest and head.

A cloud of frigid Darkness erupted from the little Death-Elf’s body, as she flew backwards and screamed “Fuck you!” However, at that moment, Inari arrived to her left and landed a strong right-handed punch against her left flank.

The fist easily tore straight through the thin cloth-like material and in an instant, Sarah was bisected. Yet, at the same time, a bright-blue kitten flew in a high parabola and smacked the fox-girl on the top of her head.

There was a loud “Mew~!” as it exploded into thousands of tiny, sharp, icy shards of Chaotic mana-crystals. Even with half of her face blown off, the vixen just roared and furiously charged towards the fleeing Gunslinger.

Jasmine shouted “Nyah~, Foxy’s so~ scary~! No~, don’t eat me, ugh~!” She didn’t manage to escape very far, before a giant venus fly-trap popped out of the ground and devoured her tiny body.

Sarah cackled hysterically, as everything below her waist was rapidly replaced by what appeared to be the cephalothorax and abdomen of a giant spider. Those thin and spiny legs were dozens of times faster than her normal ones, and she could still teleport as well.

She immediately appeared behind the vixen, with an obsidian gladius in her right hand and a serpentine dagger in the left. Both of them were repeatedly stabbed outwards, but those seven tails whipped around and blocked every strike. They were made out of fluffy fur, yet sparks erupted from the collisions and there were loud clanging noises.

Strictly based on stats, Inari had a huge advantage; however, Sarah’s technique was far superior to the ‘Magical-Beast’. The little spider-girl managed to dodge a poorly timed tail-swipe and plunge both blades into the vixen’s lower-back.

“Nyahaha~, I’m free~!” Jasmine erupted from the gigantic plant and began rapidly firing her tiny pink revolver and the oversized golden desert eagle towards her two ‘enemies’. Since they were caught unprepared, the two of them were riddled with bullets; bright green and violet blood splattered all over the nearby orange trees, as they both separated and escaped into the dense jungle.

Suddenly, the entire ‘world’ began rumbling violently and a mountain burst up from the ground in the distance. All three of the ‘little girls’ had their attention drawn to that strangely familiar waterfall that seemed to show up out of nowhere.

Then Inari transformed into the shape of a colossal green-feathered parrot, Jasmine used the rockets in her shoes to fly up and grab the giant bird’s left leg, and Sarah simply started ‘Shadow Stepping’ towards the western distance. After years of ‘playing’ with each other, they could finally meet the rest of their Companions.


“So what the hell are we supposed to do now? Just keep fucking, fighting and… I don’t know, playing music, for eternity? Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely be fine with that, but we still have a job to do, right?” Michael was sitting in a gargantuan, bubbling and steaming ‘hot-tub, next to a three meter tall orange-scaled dragoness.

Alice slurped a strange pink liquid from a huge glass pitcher, while leaning back against the smooth marble edge of the rectangular pool. There were brightly-glowing yellow and blue water-lilies floating in the dark-green liquid.

Sitting cross-legged in a meditative state behind the Nephilim, was a beautiful obsidian-skinned elven girl. Her slimy worm-like tail slithered around occasionally, but aside from that, she didn’t even seem to be awake.

To Michael’s right was a giant dryadic woman, with dark-green bark instead of flesh and long vine-like hair. Her emerald eyes were gazing at the huge open window that was essentially just a half-circle hole in the grey stone wall. All she could see outside was snow and ice; it seemed to be some sort of arctic wasteland, without a single tree or plant in sight. There were lots of rocks and it was possible to glimpse at the dazzling lights in the sky.

Talia frowned, murmuring “I do not know… This is ‘your’ world Miguel; it is up to you to decide how we should proceed.”

He sighed, complaining “Well, I mean, I’m basically an ice-sculpture at the moment. I have no idea ‘where’ we are, or how to fix my ‘frozen’ status, hehehe~… Maybe I just don’t want to change it? I don’t know, I just feel so tired… My job is to kill some people and destroy the planet afterwards.”

The dove-winged cat-girl who was floating around in front of him, abruptly jumped up and screamed “What?! How can you even think about doing something so terrible?!”

Alice snickered, asking “What’s the big deal? Don’t you want to see your brats again? If we don’t do this… It’s pretty likely that Arcana will be really pissed off. How much do you want to bet that she’d kill everyone we’ve ever known for not following through with our side of the deal?”

Tears started pouring out of Elina’s eyes, as she yelled “No! But, but this is… wrong! Michael, there has to be a way to get out of this! We can’t just destroy an entire world!”

Sarah grumbled “Will you please, shut your cunt-sucker and stop freaking out… Seriously, why do you even give a fuck about this shitty place? You don’t even know anyone who lives here-”

“Yes I do! Jane and Carly weren’t just my students! They were also my friends and… Actually, they’re ‘our’ family! Not just them, but Lia’s disciples are also out there somewhere… probably. There has to be some sort of compromise that doesn’t include mass-murder, genocide, or planetary destruction!” The angelic woman was surprisingly upset about their little ‘subscription fee’, compared to the other six. Jasmine was in the form of a hot-pink kitten and casually snoring in the corner of the room, while Inari was shaped like a golden-tailed, green-scaled snake, swimming under the murky water.

18 thoughts on “Chapter 59: Three-Way

  1. I have tried to start writing my own novel for a long time, but I’m stuck just trying to plan out the story. If you don’t mind could you give me just one of two of your tips about getting started.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My advice is to not plan lol. The more you plan, the slower your writing speed will become and the more quickly you’ll lose motivation. The best strategy for a beginning writer, even someone who has been doing it for a few years, is to just write. Form a very rudimentary guideline for things that you want to happen, as you think of them. Just write it down in a separate page or two. Also, short chapters are better than long ones. It’s not a matter of preference lol. You’re writing a web-novel, not an actual book. Later on, if you decide to hardcore edit shit into a book, you’ll still have to hardcore edit shit anyway, so it’s better to put the pieces together, instead of taking them apart. Forming lots of small chapters into a single big one is easier than turning a big chapter into smaller ones.

      If you go with small chapters, make sure to create arcs. Later on, the arcs will likely end up being actual chapters. However, you might not ever get that far, so don’t freak out about it.

      For about 5 years, I was writing on and off. However, I didn’t really know what to do and I wasted so much time agonizing over everything and planning.

      I recommend starting with a fanfiction and posting it on RoyalRoad. People might be total assholes, but at least you’ll get some helpful criticism. Just make sure to not really give a shit about their opinions, or you’ll probably quit writing within a week lol.

      Once you eventually give up on the fanfiction because you can’t actually make any money with it… Then you should start your real story that you actually give a damn about.

      You’ll have a bit of fanbase from your fanfic, which will dramatically increase your odds of not completely failing as a web-novel author.

      Another piece of advice is this: Keep a stockpile. A short chapter is about 1500 words, so make sure that you write about 60 of them before you post anything(Of your real story, which you actually care about, not the fanfiction. You can go back and edit your fanfiction into an ‘original’ novel later if it’s popular enough though.)

      Anyway, these little pieces of advice should last you like 2-3 years roflmao.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Just to add a tip here, what a buddy of mine and I did, was to “write together”, sort of. Make a game out of it.
        Each one of us would write their own part / chapter, and then the other would continue from the other’s chapter.

        We’d intentionally pick something stupid that both of us cannot really take seriously (like, say, a generic harem setting), and then go to and pick one or two random Tropes.
        The tropes you choose, are sent to the other person — essentially, YOU decide what your buddy has to include within his own “chapter”. You limit em’, instead of limiting yourself.
        Each part / chapter ended up being 1500-3000 words.

        Summary: Pick a stupid setting (“harem”), send the other party one or two topics to include in their part (“oblivious protagonist”+”mahou shoujo”), and then continue from where they left off, with the topic(s) they give you. Rinse and repeat.

        The few things I learnt from that experience, was to have some self-control by being aware of the limitations of setting and chapter’s length. We all have that “Oooh, that seems like a good idea!” moment when we write, and REALLY want to add it ASAP…But, when you have 1,500 words per chapter, you can’t just start a whole new topic out of nowhere because “NU IT HAS TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW”. I learnt to let these things go, maybe make a note, and work on it later. But definitely not stop everything just to add that little joke, or that “super important foreshadowing I just pulled out of my arse”.
        Let it go~


      • That does sound interesting, but who would I play this game with? I have friends, but the ones who write are usually like me and don’t have time to play games lol. Also, I just now realized that you weren’t actually talking to me but that other guy… roflmao. Was about to ask “You do realize that nearly every chapter of HCOP is about 1500 words, right?”


  2. Hmmm…how many of the new players are gonna remember mike on arcana, you think they’ll hold the whole Armageddon thing against him…heck is mike and the gang ever gonna remember there, what was it 72 year journey

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like how usually Elina is the only person of the 7 of them (There’s 7 right?) that actually see’s the insanity of what’s going on. Which I find hilarious!

    I hope Mike’s cousin (The lady and her daughter who has/had leukaemia) and maybe the rest of his family? Either get reincarnated (For the already deceased) or transported to Arcana. I just can’t help but with for that to happen for the poor little girl and her mom, it’s quite saddening really. If I remembered her name I would chant it for I am on “Team Loli”! All loli’s are innocent till proven psychopathic! She has a light affinity now if I remember correctly also.

    Thanks for the chapter~ Back to sleep now~

    Liked by 1 person

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