OtE Chapter 2: Slightly Hellish

This is Mike again… I’m still alive.

I wrote the last entry yesterday, so let’s just call this ‘Day 2’. I’ll try to keep track, but I’ve always had a hard time maintaining a normal sleeping schedule. What day of the week or month it is? Without my computer or a cell phone, there’s no way I’d be able to find out. Not that it really matters anyway.

People can survive with practically nothing and live for decades in hellish environments. It’s something that everybody knows, but no one wants to actually experience. Honestly though, this apocalypse ain’t that bad.

Aside from the central nervous system, it’s pretty obvious that the sensory organs are also preserved pretty well on those stupid zombies. They can also breath, otherwise how the fuck would they grunt and groan all the time?

Even though they won’t really ‘die’ if you destroy their circulatory or respiratory systems, they’ll become a lot less active. Eventually slipping into a dormant state to conserve energy. Those are the ones that you really need to watch out for though, because it’s hard to tell if they’re just a rotting carcass, or waiting to take a bite out of something.

Speaking of food, those bastards need to eat too. Their first priority seems to be hunting living animals, especially humans, but they’ll settle for a fresh corpse as well. If they’re hungry enough, they’ll try to take a bite out of a tree. Doesn’t really end well for them though, so it’s more of a last resort… Or maybe they’re just idiots? Like, it’s totally possible that the original people have some sort of bearing on how they act after becoming undead.

None of that really matters though. The real problem is when they’re smarter. All the fresh meat in the grocery stores and houses has already gone bad, but they’ll still eat it. Which means that they can differentiate the scent of rotten meat, from their own nasty decomposing flesh. They can also tell whether someone is actually a zombie or just pretending to be one.

Saw an idiot cover themselves with zombie guts and blood once… Not only did they chase after him anyway, but he died from literally covering himself with infected blood and guts. Why the hell would anyone think that could protect them? Well, I know why. The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t take survival advice from a fictional TV show.

Zombies are a lot like mice, in the sense that they’ll chew or claw through plastic in order to devour bread, cereal and pretty much anything else that they know is food. If they can see or smell it and remember it as edible, then they’ll go out of their way to get to it.

Fortunately, they aren’t smart enough to open metal cans. They also don’t bother with anything that’s actually vacuum sealed and doesn’t release an odor. Do you have any idea how much canned food there is in America? Hell, even in my house, we had enough saved up for a family of four to survive for at least a month or two.

There is enough canned food in Baltimore that I could spend a hundred years here and still wouldn’t be able to finish it all off. Of course, that’s where the problem comes along. There’s more food than I could ever eat, but at most, it might last three to five years.

I know that there are types of food which can last much longer than that, so I won’t starve to death. Things like rice, raw honey, sugar, vinegar and soy sauce won’t go bad within my lifetime. The danger is more along the lines of fire. Actually, there’s even a chance that someone might randomly decide to nuke cities. The odds of that happening are low, but still, they’re a lot higher than an asteroid hitting the Moon and somehow causing a zombie armageddon.

No, what if this is just a preemptive attack by some alien assholes? What if that wasn’t an asteroid, but a ship? Maybe the ship was carrying some kind of bioweapon or advanced nanotechnological robotic virus? They might have been aiming towards Earth, but missed.

Wait, no, what if there were nanites under the surface of the Moon? The whole Moon could be a huge ancient ship of some sort…

Okay, I’ll stop coming up with crazy conspiracy theories and get the point. I fucking hate living like this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with canned food. There’s nothing wrong with that. As long as it’s in moderation!

I don’t want to eat warm canned soups, fruits and vegetables every goddamn meal! Use my neighbors grill to cook you say? Well guess what! Zombies love the smell of cooked anything! They’ll swarm from all over the place and yeah, I don’t feel like wading through hordes of undead just to eat a crappy can of soup!

Whew~, I’m really pissed off today for some reason. There’s something that bothers me even more than not being able to have a decent meal… There is no fresh, running water in Baltimore. Even if I went down to the harbor, I’d be better off bathing in sewage.

It was bad enough before the apocalypse, but now the harbor is filled with rotting carcasses and corpses. The stupid zombies can’t swim, yet they still try to go into the water. They get drawn to it, because of the horrible stench of dead fish. Thus, they fall down and either sink to the bottom or float up to the top. Regardless of which, it’s still gross.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t get rid of my OCD. No, even a normal person would freak out if they couldn’t take a shower after a day like this, right? It’s so damn hot, even without clothes on, I can’t take it anymore.

I want to take a bath or shower, I don’t care which. For the past few weeks, all I’ve been able to do is use bottled water and soap to scrub myself off in the bathtub or in the yard. It looks like it’s going to rain tonight, so I can use that as a chance to shower. Then the temperature will probably drop for a few days. That’ll be my opportunity to leave this hellhole, once and for all.


In other news, I finally let that alley cat into my house. My parents would feed Midnight and Chipper at least twice a day, for almost seven years now. Since Chipper died, Midnight has been super clingy…

After my parents left, I decided to start taking care of that little brat. I love cats and pretty much all animals, but I usually don’t feel like actually dealing with them in person. I’m mostly in it for the cute memes. Or at least I was, back before the world ended.

Anyway, he’s currently exploring the house. We had loads of birds: Parrots, parakeets, finches and doves. However, they’re too much work and were way too noisy to keep around. I let them go in the park a few blocks away. I can still hear Misty screaming every now and then, but it’s not like the zombies can fly or climb trees.

Cats are pretty resourceful as well. They usually don’t have much trouble hiding from the undead masses. On the other hand, doggos have become kind of dangerous lately. You would be amazed at how many people owned dogs in Baltimore. A lot of them were rottweilers, pit bulls, german shepherds, labradors and other big breeds.

Thankfully, the non-human animals don’t turn into zombies or even get sick from eating them. No, I guess that’s not exactly true. It depends on how ‘fresh’ the bodies are, because rotten meat ain’t good for most carnivores. At the very least though, a huge pack of dogs can demolish a small horde of zombies.

Although I’m planning to bring Midnight with me when I leave, I don’t know whether he’ll follow me or not. It’s not like I’m going to carry him around or anything like that. He rarely ever goes with me when I don my armor and head out into battle. Ah, that sounded way cooler than scavenging for supplies.

I’m pretty tired, so I’ll try to get some sleep. I want to be awake for the storm tonight.

5 thoughts on “OtE Chapter 2: Slightly Hellish

  1. Pingback: OtE Chapter 1: Observer 131 | Mike777ac

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