“I’m really fucking sorry, but I’m currently having some extreme medical problems at the moment… I won’t be able to write anything for at least a week or so, I’m sorry. This isn’t a hiatus, but merely a short reprieve, while I sort some things out. Ugh, maybe I shouldn’t even bother with a post and disappear randomly? No, that’d be kinda cruel to the leechers…” Michael was feeling guilty about having severe writer’s block and was attempting to make up some rather valid excuses for his fans.

However, as he was sitting in his office chair, staring at his computer screen, he didn’t notice that horrifying creature that was lurking underneath the bed behind him. The shadowy beast was stealthily crawling around in the darkness and although he turned his head over occasionally, it would always vanish immediately.

He grumbled “After watching all that furry porn, I feel like I’ve finally managed to conjure up the vengeful spirit of a beautiful panther woman… Ah, either that, or there’s just a really fucking gigantic rat crawling around somewhere. Wouldn’t it be so amazing if it was an adorable mouse-girl though? Nope, with my luck, it’d just be… Will you please be quiet!?”

Instead of investigating the eerie shuffling sounds, he decided to simply yell at the mysterious and potentially dangerous beast that was making strange noises. Then there was a furious squeaking cry, as the monster finally appeared.

It was a whole foot long, glowing blue eyes, pitch-black fur and a long, slender, purple tail. Michael glared at the oversized ‘Vampire Mouse’, which had blood dripping from its exposed incisors and yelled “Holy shit! That scared the fuck outta me! No, bad rat! If you wanna beg for food, then go upstairs, cause I obviously don’t have any!”

The ‘undead’ creature stared up at him and stood on its hind legs, holding its paws out and making irritating, high-pitched noises. Suddenly, it scampered over his right foot and jumped inside of his small, black trash-can.

“Eww~, don’t go in there~… Ugh, so nasty! Stop eating my crusty clump of cum and snot tissues! That ain’t food! Oh for fuck’s sake… I really should go upstairs and throw this little bastard outside, but my parents are definitely in the kitchen right now and I have a boner… What I really shouldn’t do, is start masturbating and bukkake the little bitch, cause that’d probably be ‘wrong’.” As he was having a moral dilemma and struggling with his arousal, the rat buried itself at the bottom of the torn-up tissues.

Michael actually wasn’t completely sure if he was hallucinating or if there was actually a giant mouse in his trash can, but in his current state of mind, he honestly didn’t care. Ever since he ‘survived’ the bathtub incident, he was starting to feel a soul-crushing loneliness; masturbating only made things worse, because he would constantly remember the faces of those six girls.

When he ejaculated onto that mysterious vampire-mouse, it screeched and squeaked, while trying to hide under the tissues. It was only afterwards that he realized “Holy fucking shit-cunt! I’m not going crazy! Also, why the hell did I just cum on a goddamn rat?! This is kinda weird, even for me…”

After being doused by the glowing pink goo, the black rodent seemed to become enraged and jumped up onto Michael’s groin. It chomped down onto its testicles and a crimson liquid sprayed out, all over its relatively small face. However, the moment it was in direct contact with his blood, it screamed and swiftly scampered off, into the back of the basement.

A few moments passed, before the slightly aroused man screamed “Ow~! What the actual fuck?! Shit, shit, shit~! No, it’s fine, none of this is real, because I can’t afford to go to the hospital… Yeah, look, I’m just going insane and had a pimple on my balls, it popped and there was no rat! The rat is a lie!”

It only took a few moments for him to hypnotize himself into believing that he was simply losing his mind. “Oh hey, look at that, the wound is already closed up… Yep, there’s no way that I could get rabies, tetanus, mouse-herpes, or any other kind of horrible disease! Goddamn it, I must have umm, accidentally knocked over my trash-can while I was masturbating… Fuck my life, I’m definitely gonna die! Also, there’s a big-ass rabid rodent somewhere in my room! Ugh, it’s probably going to gnaw my face off while I’m sleeping tonight…”

Thus, he dejectedly started cleaning up the ripped-up tissue-paper under his computer-desk. As he finished that irritating chore, he reached over to the relatively large guitar-amp to the left of his chair and grabbed a container of hand-sanitizer. He grimaced as he used it to ‘sterilize’ his wounded testicles, chair, the rim of his trash-can, and various other places that were touched by the filthy vermin.

Then his sclera seemed to turn purple and his irises became bright-blue; there was a sharp pain running through his mind, as if his eyes were straining really hard for a long time. Michael grimaced and growled “I’m gonna murder that fucking piece of shit!” in a high-pitched voice.

For whatever reason, there was a set of three pitch-black, throwing knives laying on the large guitar-amp to his left. He also had a fourteen inch long, stainless steel butcher’s knife next to them. They weren’t the only ‘weapons’ in his room, but they were probably the most reliable.

However, before he could grab them, his extreme bloodlust diminished significantly and a sense of extraordinary lethargy overtook his mind. Michael sat back down and his eyes returned to their normal, dark-brown appearance.

“It’s just a rat, it ain’t like the bastard can really kill me. If it tries to attack me again though, I’ll just smack the shit outta it… ew, not literally though. Besides, how the hell am I supposed to stab it to death? Those fucker’s are way too fast, and throwing knives… They’d be a lot more useful on humans.” He managed to calm down and think ‘rationally’ about the situation for a few moments, before he was once again, distracted from reality by the internet.

 

While Michael was debating whether he should start reading a xianxia called ‘Wasteland Tiger Demon God Guy’, or the one named ‘Martial Goddess of the Physically Disabled Dragon-Cow’, he didn’t notice those glowing violet eyes, flashing in the darkness.

It had only been an hour, but exposure to his chaotic ‘seed’ was already transforming the vicious little rodent, into a full-blown demonic beast. Compared to normal food, devouring his concentrated ejaculate, along with the dried up semen and mucus, was far more potent and ‘nutritional’.

What was once a foot long ‘Vampire Mouse’, with pitch-black fur and bright-blue eyes, had rapidly begun mutating into something far more dangerous and powerful. Violet irises, dark-purple fur, huge bulging muscles, a thick snake-like pink tail with scaly-skin, venomous obsidian fangs, and sharp spines protruding from its spine. It would have probably appeared terrifying to most people, even if it was small. Unfortunately, it was already the size of a german shepherd, and it wasn’t finished growing yet.

However, the most dangerous thing about the demon wasn’t its body, but its mind, which was becoming increasingly intelligent. As it listened and watched the strange human, who instinctively terrified the beast, it started imitating his most used words in a high-pitched and squeaky whisper: “Fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, whore, cock, asshole…”

Eventually there was a loud noise, and the basement door was abruptly opened, accompanied by a deep voice that yelled “Hey Mike, stop masturbating, cause I’m coming down~!” Then a man who was nearly six-feet tall, wearing a black leather jacket, dark-blue jeans, and leather boots, stomped down the stairs rapidly.

He just barely avoided smacking his forehead against the ceiling, as he entered Michael’s room and shouted “What’s up bitch~?!” There was a light beard on his face, and his short brown hair was almost hanging in front of his right eye.

“Adam, I’m not ‘always’ masturbating! Anyway, don’t wear shoes in my goddamn room!” The one who barged into the basement randomly, was the reclusive man’s younger brother; they were only a year and nine months apart.

Michael glanced over at the steps and screamed “Holy fucking cunt-monkeys! What the hell is that thing?!”

“Ah~!? Shit, shit, shit, whore, is it a fucking cockroach!? If it’s a fucking cockroach I’m gonna die!” Adam immediately started sprinting up the stairs and only turned around once he was at the top, so he couldn’t see the tiger-sized demonic rat-monster that had been about to decapitate him with its massive talons.

However, when Michael grabbed the throwing knives to his left and stood up, the enormous beast had already frantically darted into the back of the basement again. He stared into that pitch-black clutter-filled nightmare zone and grumbled “Nope, no fuckin way I’m goin over there! That’s some classic horror-movie bullshit right there…”

When Adam came back downstairs and looked around, he shouted “Where is it Mike?! Are you just fucking with me, or is there really a cockroach? It’s too dark down here to even see the floor… Ugh, those black tiles are terrifying and the white ones are covered with dust and leg hair! Nope-nope-nope-nope~! I hear something scurrying around back there! It’s definitely some kinda super-roach hellbeast! I wanted to force you to watch the new episode of ‘Redneck Terror-Story’ with me, but fuck that shit! Bye~!”

Within moments, his brother had abandoned him in the basement with a giant monstrous demonic vampire-mouse. Michael muttered “What a pussy… Besides, it’s not like roaches could ever get big enough to actually become dangerous, right? City rats on the other hand… How the hell did it even get into the house? My eyesight is pretty bad, but it definitely seemed bigger than a cat… What’s it been eating back there? Welp, while I’m waiting for that bastard to come out and try to kill me… Oh sweet! ‘Ancient Fighting Master of the Screaming Crane Style’ just released like ten new chapters at the same time!”