“Is this bitch actually a zombie?” The moment the glasses vanished, that woman got down on all fours and started sprinting towards Michael with her abnormally long tongue, hanging out of her mouth.

“Gah~! Aoru~!” She made weird noises, as she rolled around on the ground by his feet. Then she started barking and trying to lick his toes.

“Umm, uh, don’t let your guard down Mike. She might be pretending to be mentally handicapped!” Matthew stared at the naked woman for a few seconds. She had skin that was almost as pale as Michael’s, while there were innumerable scars from bites, whips, canes and burns all over her back and buttocks. Her blue eyes gazed up at him for a moment, but she seemed disinterested in the scrawny ‘old’ man.

“Anyway, if I’m gonna do this, then I’ll just do it. I’ll be done in a minute.” Michael sighed and then grabbed the woman’s shoulder-length, curly brown hair with his left hand. He pulled her away from his feet and then pressed her body down onto the carpet, kneeling to get a better view. Even though he agreed to ‘deal’ with the problem, he wanted to do a careful examination first.

She was growling and purring, then randomly started crying. He cautiously caressed and squeezed her plump buttocks, spreading the cheeks open. Michael muttered “Ya know, considering the circumstances, she actually looks pretty clean. Has a decent asshole too. At least a six or seven on the anal scale.”

“Okay well, this is really awkward, so I’ll just go over there and let you get to work.” Matthew turned around and started to walk away, when he heard a piercing scream and then a loud popping noise.

“Bitch had a fuckin dagger in her ass!” Michael was pressing his right knee against the back of the woman’s neck, lifting her lower body upwards and showing the exposed awl-like blade. It was rounded, with only the tip being sharp, similar to an ice-pick. With her spine broken, her bodily functions abruptly shut down and urine was released from her bladder. Fortunately, the weapon was plugging up her anus and preventing any feces or gases from escaping.

“Oh my God, ugh…” Matthew gagged and cringed at the same time. He complained “How can you just kill people like that?! I mean, I know you’re supposed to… But what the fuck man?!”

The relatively short nudist got up off the dying woman and sighed, “Listen Kid. First of all, you said it yourself that none of this shit is real. Secondly, we’re in Hell. Even if it was real, it’d be motherfucking Hell! You think ‘good’, ‘innocent’ cuntbags come to this place?! Fuck no! You can’t even get into the Asura System unless you’re an evil piece of shit! I know, because I wrote a whole damn series about it! Now if you’re gonna keep acting like a whiny little pussy, it’s really gonna piss me off!”

“Alright! I’m sorry for being a normal human, who isn’t comfortable watching people brutally murder each other!” While he was yelling, the wisp flew out of the dead woman’s body and into his left hand. Then the two of them were teleported back underneath another giant shot glass. It looked like the same exact room, except that the corpse was gone.

“Yeah, well people who think they’re ‘normal’ are usually the weirdest motherfuckers out there. They’re always trying to hide something… Or they’re religious and feel guilty for practically everything they do. Like, oh my God~! I’m such a sinner for wanting to suck a guy’s dick~! Hehehe~! Or, that little girl is really pretty… But she’s like half my age. It’d be wrong to think about her that way.” Michael started cackling, then sat down across from the nearly-nude dark-skinned man.

“I’m not religious. My mother is, but I… Well, everything is just a VR so what does it even matter? Anyway, I’ve definitely never hurt anyone before the day that I Summoned you. You murdered four innocent police officers!” Matthew grumbled, glancing over at the other shot-glass. There were two women this time. Both with dark-brown skin, appearing to be of Indian descent. They weren’t frenzied like the woman before, but calmly kneeling on the ground and praying.

“They had guns and pointed them at me. So what if they were dressed like police officers? That don’t mean shit in the Apocalypse. If someone points a gun at you, kill em. Otherwise, you’re fucking dead.” Michael frowned, pulling at the hair on his cheeks, before asking “Should I just kill them, or is there some kinda achievement for fucking people to death? Like, will we get better rewards? If it’s all the same, I’m not really horny right now. At least, I’m not interested in having sex with boring, regular humans. Now if they bring out some monster-girls, then I don’t care if I have to die, I am totally going to screw em.”

“Pft~! What if they end up being a centaur?” Matthew snickered, “Even if you wanted to fuck a horse, would you even be able to?”

Michael sighed dramatically, “Where there’s a willy, there’s a way. Meh, that was a shitty pun, even by my standards. Anyway, this is Hell, so there’s no telling what kinda crazy shit might pop up outta nowhere. That’s why you gotta be careful Kid. Even though we’re in the Unranked zone right now and fighting matches normally, we could suddenly get picked for some free-for-all or maybe…”

“Maybe what? I did get picked for a free-for-all the last time, but…” Matt frowned, “Do you know Iris? I got an achievement after you killed that grizzly bear, which gave me Iris’ card.”

“I mean, she was one of the characters in my stories, sure.” Michael smirked, bragging “I was a relatively famous author back before the world ended, ya know? Like, if things continued the way they were going, I probably would’ve made it big eventually. I wrote tons of books. One of my Series was called Chaotica’s Coliseum. It was about the Asura System, also known as Hell. Iris was the MC and started on Wrath, you know, ‘cause she’s a total psychopath. Like, she would kill people in the arena really brutally, then go back to her Gladiator’s quarters and masturbate while the memories were fresh in her mind. She was a total sadist, to the extreme. Oh, can I see her card?”

Although he couldn’t draw it out, it was still possible for Matthew to display the information of any card in his collection. All he needed to do was think about it, then the holographic card would appear before his eyes.

“Umm, can you read this?” Matt grabbed the illusory giant card and then turned it towards the naked man, then he muttered “I knew Iris was probably pretty fucked up, but I didn’t think she was that bad. She actually seemed kinda nice.”

“Oh yeah, Iris is pretty nice…” Michael smirked, read the description in a few seconds and started snickering. He elaborated “It seems like the girl you can Summon is based off of the prologue version of Iris. After Iris does a bit of revenge killing on Earth, she realizes that if she stayed there, then she’d just end up staying a slave to the more powerful demons. When Chaotica’s Legion invaded Earth, she would become a mere pawn or foot-soldier at most. So she returned to Hell willingly… This time, she became a Gladiator, able to pick and choose her battles, instead of remaining a slave. Anyway, the point-”

The two glasses vanished, then those women across from them slowly stood up at the same time. They were wearing thin, nearly transparent silken black robes. In each of their hands was an old and rusty katar. They were long, triangular bladed fist-weapons.

“Hey Mike, I don’t think these women are gonna just stand there and let you kill them, so be careful.” The two women were already sprinting over towards the two of them. Although they were clearly in their mid-forties and their stamina was rather low, they were still fairly swift.

“Yeah, calm you tiny tits.” Michael walked forwards a bit, while Matt started backing away quickly. However, his worries were meaningless.

The naked man grabbed the first woman’s left wrist with one hand, then stole her katar with the other. He stabbed it through her throat, nearly slicing her head off. Then he pulled the blade up and parried one of the second woman’s attacks. She tried to stab him in the gut with her other weapon, but Michael abruptly jerked his waist to the side, avoiding the thrust.

“Anyway,” Michael grabbed the katar from her hand, turned it around and thrust it into her sternum. After pulling it out and kicking her body backwards, he continued “Iris’ biggest weakness is her sister, Alicia. She’s a major sis-con. And I don’t mean the cute kind. More like, she has fantasies about raping and torturing her own sister sometimes. Of course, that only happened after she ‘Awakened’. You see, in my stories, Iris was actually like this ancient and omnipotent Goddess-like character called Anael. Umm, but if this is a VR, then I have no clue what the deal is…”

As Michael was talking, he quickly picked up the two extra rusty katars and tossed them over to Matthew. Once the wisps flew off into his left hand, the number changed to ‘38’. Then the two of them teleported back underneath another giant shot-glass.

“That’s really fucked up…” Matthew sighed, “Iris seems pretty fucked up too, but I meant the fact that you just killed those two women without even flinching. Then you casually returned to telling a story, like you weren’t even slightly concerned about your own survival.”

 

*Author’s Note*

Okay, now I definitely remember this first trip to Lust lmao. Idk how I could forget?

 

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