“You stupid fucking brat!” That familiar raspy voice pulled me out of an awesome sex-dream. I was having a foursome with a centaur, a snake-woman and a spider-girl, but then an ugly old man appeared. Even though I wanted to say something sarcastic and offensive, I couldn’t even open my mouth. Continue reading
“I’m scared… I don’t wanna be alone… Don’t leave me alone… It hurts… Help me…” It sounded like the voice of a little girl, but when I turned my head and jumped away, there was nothing there. After standing up off of the floor and being thankful that I didn’t break my arm, I let out a long sigh. Continue reading
Xiaotong was the name of the creepy floating red skull that I ‘played with’ every morning. Now, I knew that there was definitely some sorta fucked up story behind that thing, but Long Di would never tell me anything. He just got all serious, smacked me around a bit and sternly shouted “Don’t go into that shitty tree-house! It’s a deathtrap!” Continue reading
The final Spirit was sealed inside of a floating glass bubble like the dick. It gave me a really weird boner, but also made me feel dizzy when I looked at it closely. Sometimes it was a mouth, then it stuck out its pink tongue and it became blurry for a moment, before transforming into a beating heart. Illusory blood was splashing all over the place and it suddenly exploded, managing to reform into a uterus with glowing yellow ovaries. Continue reading
That narcissistic old man continued bragging about how ‘kindhearted’ and ‘charitable’ he was for the entire trip back to his house. Then it was back to monotonous physical exercises for a few hours. I wanted to increase the amount of Qi in my Dantian, but it’s apparently not something that should be forced. Continue reading
I yawned loudly and asked “Okay~ then, so Shamans, Necrophiliacs and Ex-Whore Cysts all deal with spiritual garbage… What’s your point?” Continue reading
“Shoo~! Fuck off! Ow-ow-ow~! Stop it!” That magical illusory ‘Thunder Spirit’ was cackling madly, as crimson arcs of electricity kept zapping me nonstop. However, it didn’t do any significant damage and only hurt really badly. It tried to bite me a few times, but it didn’t seem to have a physical form. Honestly, there was a time when I was shocked by a taser. The sensation wasn’t nearly that powerful, yet it was still a lot stronger than a bit of static from rubbing socks against a carpet. Continue reading
“Wake up! Ya damn brat, the Sun’s up and yer still sleepin!” The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was that wrinkly, yet enormous hand reaching down and grabbing my hair. He directly pulled me out of bed and threw me onto the floor, before kicking me in the side. I flew across the room and crashed into the surprisingly durable wood paneling. Continue reading
Compressing a bunch of gas in your gut is exactly as pleasant as it sounds. I couldn’t help but ask “Are you absolutely sure that I don’t need to take a shit? Cause I really don’t feel good right now… Urp~, nope, almost threw up but managed to keep it inside!” Continue reading
After Long Di stopped making a bunch of green smog swirl around him, I tried really fucking hard to ‘sense’ that Qi stuff. I mean, it was basically just mana, right? I’ve played enough video games and read enough manga to figure out that all that martial arts bullshit is pretty much magic. Unfortunately, my bladder didn’t seem to care about cultivation. “I have to piss.” Continue reading
Mike777ac 