[Creature: Xian Dao Natives
Type: Unit
Rarity: Common
Mana Cost: 2
Description: Summons 2 to 5 humans from an undeveloped tribe of Xian Dao. Their basic equipment includes leather or fur kilts. They might be muscular and tall, short and feeble or even sickly elders. Although they have the chance to be Summoned along with primitive weapons, tools and armor, the odds are relatively low. Their corpses and items will persist through death.]

“Oh damn it… If I Summon these people here and they don’t die, what happens? Will they just be erased after I Unsummon them?” Matthew frowned as he looked at the picture of a tall and muscular Asian man in a leather kilt, standing in front of a small, topless Asian woman. The man had a wooden spear, while the woman was unarmed and seemingly defenseless.

[It may seem cruel, but for Unit cards such as these… Fate Fortuna would go and collect the ID Codes, or personalities, of a few dozen NPCs from whatever origin is mentioned. Within this Private Server exists innumerable personality programs and data packets for all of the cards that have been saved. You also have ample storage capacity to seal many new ID Codes.]

Matt frowned, then asked “So what you’re saying is that even if they die or disappear, they’ll still be saved onto my Private Server and I might be able to Summon them again eventually?”

[Yes, that is correct. Did you believe that a new personality, avatar and background memory cache was created each time you Summoned a Creature? That would be absurd. Not entirely impossible, but extremely inefficient.]

“Well how the hell would I know what’s possible anymore?!” He shouted, then read the next cards.

[Item: Steel Katana Collection
Type: Equipment
Rarity: Common
Mana Cost: 2
Description: Summons 3 to 5 Steel Katanas. These single edged swords are relatively fragile and mainly used for slashing or stabbing. They have no magical properties, but are still fairly effective weapons. Their appearances, sharpness and overall quality may vary.]

[Item: Ironwood Recurve Bows
Type: Equipment
Rarity: Common
Mana Cost: 2
Description: Summons 2 to 5 recurve bows made from Ironwood. There is a small chance that this weapon will be Enchanted and significantly more powerful than usual. Ironwood is by nature, a very durable and flexible material. Arrows are not provided.]

[Item: Ironwood Hunting Arrows
Type: Consumables
Rarity: Common
Mana Cost: 2
Description: Summons 20 to 50 arrows made from Ironwood, with steel broadheads. There is a small chance that these arrows will be Enchanted and significantly more powerful than usual. Ironwood is by nature, a very durable and flexible material. The size of the arrows will change depending on the bows that are in play.]

“So I managed to get two weapons and even some ammo…” Matthew sighed in relief, since it was literally the difference between life and death. He muttered “If Michael can kill a grizzly with a dildo, then he’d probably be a lot stronger with a sword. If I can Summon bows and arrows, then I could try to help out a bit too.”

Although it would cost him an hour to earn a point of Mana on Old Earth Online, he could sacrifice Souls in Hell. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to Summon Michael again for at least a day regardless.

[Spell: Minor Qi Infusion
Type: Supportive
Rarity: Common
Mana Cost: 2
Description: Summons a gentle stream of neutral Qi to soothe, heal and rejuvenate the target. Will have a greater effect on weaker Creatures. Cannot be used on the Summoner.]

[Spell: Spirit Strengthening Sutra
Type: Passive
Rarity: Uncommon
Mana Cost: 2
Mana Upkeep per Day: 1
Description: Strengthens the link between the Summoner and their Summoned Creatures. Spirits and other ethereal beings will become more powerful the longer they remain in play. Spiritual Monsters will become less hostile to the Summoner. Increases the Summoner’s resistance to Spiritual attacks.]

“No freakin way…” Matthew was surprised by the two spells, but what shocked him more was the last card he received.

[Creature: Ethereal Phallus
ID Code: Eros-D13
Type: Monster
Rarity: Rare
Mana Cost: 2
Mana Upkeep per Day: 1
Description: Summons a powerful Enhancement Spirit, which happens to be shaped like a human penis. It was once an ancient Rank-D treasured dagger, but when its physical form was destroyed, the weapon’s Soul escaped. The Ethereal Phallus enjoys thrusting in and out of holes. If there are no holes for it to penetrate, then it tends to create them. Although it isn’t very powerful on its own, when the Spirit takes control of sharp weapons, it becomes extremely fearsome. Not recommended for those who care deeply about their chastity.]

“You can’t be serious. First I get crystal dildos and now… Now I have a demonic ghost dick. Why does this even exist?!”

[Perhaps you have an affinity for phallus-related cards?]

“I’m not gay!” Matthew shouted, then murmured “Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay… But I like women. It’s been a long time since I was in a relationship, but I definitely still like girls. I just haven’t had time lately. And sex just isn’t worth all the time, trouble and-”

[Perhaps you should visit Lust? If you combine your Quartz Dildo and Ethereal Phallus, you would not even need to participate in the sexual duel.]

Matthew paused for a moment, then shook his head and complained “Nope, nope, no, fuck no! No way I’m fallin for that trick! I’ve managed to keep my anal virginity for all this time, I ain’t riskin it now!”

[There is a heterosexual option for Lust, though it is significantly less popular. I would recommend waiting until you are a bit higher Ranked however… Otherwise I doubt that you could ‘perform’ adequately.]

“Wait a second…” Matt thought about it a bit more, then asked “Even if I went to Lust and picked the straight option, wouldn’t my opponents be nasty old mummified psychotic bitches?”

[That is a distinct possibility. Female dogs are quite common opponents during the early stages.]

“Nope, no-no-no-no-no! I am not having any kind of sexual relations with no dog! Ugh… Well, at least I have one Rare I won’t mind sacrificing to try for an Epic.” After Matthew picked up the nine cards, the rest of his deck appeared on the desk. He casually shuffled them all together and then wondered “Am I allowed to fuse cards yet?”

[Yes, so long as you do not fall below the minimum deck requirements.]

He immediately noticed that Michael Cinagra and the two dildos were back in his deck, so he asked “What exactly is the graveyard? Shouldn’t these three cards be there for another twenty-four hours? Actually, didn’t I Summon Mike again within like eighteen or twenty hours? How does that work?”

[The graveyard will reset when you enter a Public Server for the first time. This is so that you are not completely unprepared when you enter new games. Right now you are in Display Mode, where you can see, interact with and make changes to your cards. After you exit Display Mode, the cards will be shuffled. Cards that should be in the graveyard, will return there once you are done.]

“Okay, good. First thing I need to do is get rid of these stupid dildo cards.” Matthew took the two cards out from the twenty that were spread across the desk in front of him, then he said “Fuse?”

[Very well, fusing Quartz Dildo with Sapphire Dildo. Fusion has succeeded.]

The two cards combined into one, but Matt wasn’t happy at all.

[Item: Titanium Dildo
Type: Tool
Rarity: Common
Mana Cost: 1
Description: Summons a large silver metallic dildo, made from titanium alloy. Mainly used for masturbation. Relatively lightweight, but very durable. Could potentially be used as a blunt weapon, though it is rather difficult to wield.]

 

Volume 1: Unranked

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14