Once the doctor and nurse finished rebandaging Matthew’s face, they left him alone in the room. It was only 4:25 PM, but the sun was already starting to go down. The television in the room was off and the fluorescent ceiling lights barely worked. Thus, he returned to the Private Server and complained “I can’t do that. That horrible fucking nightmare shit!”

Matthew got so angry that he picked up his chair and threw it across the room. Of course, it immediately teleported back to its original position and wasn’t even slightly damaged. He sat down and sighed, “What kinda tutorial was that?!”

[The tutorial varies, but usually involves a situation where the Player is forced to fight against extremely unfavorable odds. Everyone receives only a single attempt. Depending on the results of their first battle, they’re ranked accordingly… You are currently ranked at the very bottom. Why did you not even attempt to utilize your Modification?]

“What?! And do what?! Beat them to death with a Sapphire dildo?! Summon some birds or wasps and hope for the best?! I didn’t even have time to figure out what was going on, before I was chased down by a bunch of lunatics and torn apart! Were they zombies or something?!”

His hand still remained the same, two crystalline dildos, Startled Pigeons and Wasp Swarm. As he stared at them for a few moments, he noticed that a facedown card was floating in the air next to his left hand. He asked “What’s this?”

[You can draw a new card every hour. It will happen automatically if you play a card. However, you can also directly send one of the cards in your hand to the graveyard by willing it to happen. In fact, the physical cards do not need to be manifested in order to activate and utilize your ability. Most Summoners would keep their cards on a virtual screen, near the edge of their vision at all times. Thus, allowing them to activate the cards at any moment. Assuming they have the Mana required.]

“Am I allowed to draw it right now? Even though I’m in here?” Matt asked as he reached out and grabbed the card that was floating with his right hand, then the ‘Sapphire Dildo’ card disintegrated.

[Indeed… Only Standard Server Time counts towards the cycling of Mana, cards and the graveyard. However, if you wish, it is also possible to draw, organize and shuffle your cards within the Private Server.]

“Him, that crazy bastard.” Matthew looked at the newly drawn card and grimaced. Then he asked “Am I allowed to summon Michael to fight for me in the arena?”

[It is not against the rules.]

“Good. I think that Hell would suit a lunatic like him pretty well.”

***

“Ugh, it feels like I aged fifty years…” Matthew slowly stood up off the cold, sandy ground and looked around. He was in a small rusty iron cage, while there was another weak and frail old man in the prison across from him. The two of them were trapped within a vacant and run-down underground arena.

Suddenly, a spotlight illuminated the sandy pit and a mechanical voice announced “Rankless Level 1 match between Matthew Leblanc and Rodney Mccloud will begin in one minute. Prepare yourselves for combat.”

His body was in a severely weakened state and he was in fact, aged significantly. This was simply the starting conditions that all Players would experience, unless they were Modders who were already Ranked. However, not everyone would be willing to use their Mods in such a game, since it would make the fights much less challenging and enjoyable.

Of course, Matt wasn’t interested in fairness or fighting. He only wanted experience in order to level-up and gain more useful cards.

“Three, two, one… Begin.” When the robot voice ended, the cages lifted up into the sky and disappeared into the darkness. The other man was weak and frail, with wrinkled pale skin and freckles all over his scarred body. Most of his hair had fallen out, but he still had a few long strands of white dangling from his scalp. His left eye was pure white, while the right pupil still functioned properly. His scraggly beard was mostly white, but still had some red spots left.

“Grah~!” He roared and started sprinting across the sand, charging at the startled dark-skinned old man. However, after snapping out of the fear, Matt threw the card in his right hand. It flew over and landed right in front of Rodney, then a short, naked, muscular man appeared in his path.

“Fuck off!” Michael threw a quick jab with his right fist, hitting the sprinting old man in the throat. Then he moved back and cautiously watched as his enemy fell to the ground, struggling to breath out the crushed trachea. After a few seconds, he walked over and then stomped down onto Rodney’s neck, breaking his spine.

“Matthew Leblanc wins.” As the voice announced, a fiery wisp flew out of the withered corpse and headed towards Matt’s left hand. Then it infused itself into his flesh, as a glowing red tattoo of the number ‘1’ appeared.

Michael turned towards him and complained “I obviously killed the bastard, so why does he get credit?! Wait, wait a second… What the fuck is this place anyway?”

Before Matt could explain anything, the mechanical voice announced “Next round will begin in one minute.”

Both men had instantaneously appeared inside of a rusty iron cage, while another cage had appeared across from them. Instead of a single person, there were actually two bony and wrinkled old men. One of them had a hunched back and pale skin, while the other had dark-brown skin and a potbelly. They only wore rags around their waists.

“Shit, what kinda… Ugh, is this Hell? I feel like I’ve had this dream before.” Michael sighed, turning towards the old man who was kneeling feebly on the ground.

“This is Hell.” Matt whispered in a hoarse voice, “Chaotica’s Coliseum 3. It’s a game.”

“Yeah, yeah, I figured as much. This is some kinda sick, twisted game of some douchebag Deity. Well, can’t say it’s any worse than being stuck on Earth in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, without any electricity, internet, porn… Have you ever tried to masturbate to a dead girl? Ain’t nearly as kinky as you’d expect. Kinda gross really. I wouldn’t recommend it at all.”

Michael sat down on the sand, leaning his back against the metal cage. Then Matt asked “Do you remember… When you saved me from those thugs?”

“Uh, um, huh. Maybe? I remember killing a few people the other day, but I thought that was just a dream.” The naked guy smirked, “Holy shit, are you that dumbass who said he summoned me? What the fuck happened? Has it been a hundred years for you or something?”

Matt shook his head, then whispered “No… It’s only been a day. The me you met, is in the hospital right now. When you make a new character in this game… You gotta start like this. It probably gets better… Later on…”

“Well whatever ya say Kid. If you’re really my ‘Summoner’, then it’d be pretty bad if I let ya die, right?” Michael snickered, then stood up and glared at the two old men in the other cage. He smiled and asked “I wonder if you can give me a weapon of some sort? Maybe some clothes at least? Do ya really need ta summon me naked? Or are ya doing that on purpose? Hehehe~, I’m not gay, but if you could turn yourself into a woman…”

“I’m not doing it on purpose!” Matt shouted, then coughed because of his dry throat. Suddenly a holographic screen appeared in front of his face.

[Souls can be used as currency in Hell. But they can also be sacrificed to gain Mana.]

After he saw that, Matt smirked and stood up off the ground. He wobbled a bit, then grabbed a card and tossed it over to the naked man. The number on his left hand turned to zero, but the card was successfully played.

“You wanted a weapon… Is that good enough for ya?” Matt snickered, as the foot long Quartz Dildo materialized in Michael’s hands.

 

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